Give, Said the Little Stream

I’ve been pretty slack in my grocery shopping duties lately.  I used to go religiously every Wednesday because it’s the first day of the “new” prices for the week.  Then I changed to Fridays because it felt like I was shopping less.  Then I just stopped shopping.  Though obviously not totally because we’ve had food to eat, but I just wasn’t giving it the care that I used to, or getting any enjoyment from it.

Today I had to get over to Safeway because I was completely and totally out of Coke and needed some Golden Mushroom Soup for the pork chops we were going to have for dinner last night.  I’ve got several Safeway Gas Rewards that I needed to use before they expire later this week so I decided to go after picking B up from school as it put me halfway to the Stockton location that has a gas station attached, which is also in the same shopping center as Trader Joe’s, and who needs an excuse to go to TJ’s?  Not me!  I decided to get the gas after I was done shopping.  In my mind there was a logical reason, but it doesn’t really matter.  I ended up spending more than I planned, which helped me to decide not to go to Trader Joe’s while also giving me an extra gas reward! so we got our gas and headed for home.  But first….

While B was dutifully pumping the gas I noticed a man checking the garbage cans for recyclables.  I knew I had some empty water bottles in my car but didn’t think to give them to him.  When a second man came around, I got the impression that he was in greater need of help and I asked him if he wanted the few I had.  I felt badly because I only ended up having 3 or 4, not the dozen I thought were hiding under my seat, but my shoulder angel reminded me that I had a ton of food in my trunk so I asked if he’d like something to eat.  Now, it probably should have been obvious that he would want something to eat but you just never know.   I hear stories all the time of people that panhandle for a living, and make quite a nice sum doing it.  There are scam artists everywhere, but it was clear to me that he wasn’t one of them.  I was perturbed when the rent-a-cop on a bike rode up and told Larry (that was his name) that he wasn’t supposed to be there, but I made it clear that Larry hadn’t approached me.  I didn’t want the poor guy getting in trouble!  So I gave him some fresh fruit and made him a cheese sandwich in the hopes that it would make a small dent in his hunger.  As he started to wander off it occurred to me that he probably didn’t have access to clean drinking water so I sent B running after him with a few full water bottles and wished him a good day.  I wanted to ask him so many things to see if there were some other way I could help but Paul Blart kept giving us the stinkeye so we just headed home.

Every day when we pray, we ask for an opportunity to be of service to someone.  I am so grateful that I met Larry today and was touched by how humble he was.  I hope I am blessed with more of these opportunities, and I hope my children are with me so that they can see how important each person is.  They argue and fight so much… I keep trying to teach them that Kindness Begins With Me, but it’s hard for them to see beyond their own noses and when we are graced with the opportunity to love someone as our Savior loves us, I think those moments are the most effective teaching ones.

First Day of School! First Day of School!!

I felt like Nemo after I dropped my kids off at school today.  Me and Lenny drove away singing Michael Franti’s “I’m Alive (Life Sounds Like)” as we sped toward Starbucks for our morning cuppa Joe.  Or Josh, as this morning’s barista goes.  Poor Josh…

When I go out, I like to use people’s names that I interact with.  It reminds us both that we’re all human and we’re all connected.  As I pulled up to the drive-thru window Josh asked how I was and I replied “I’m awesome, Josh! How are you?”   He looked at me and started giving me the eye like, how do I know you lady?  I told him I was a mind reader, but really?  IT’S YOUR NAMETAG DUDE!!

Somebody forgot their pre-dawn Redbull…

To Utah, With Love (written Sunday, June 22)

I’m back from my trip to visit my Utah Girls.  I wish I had been able to stay longer as I am entirely unready to re-enter my regular life, but alas…. duty calls.  Well, more like my anniversary called, but since I was so swollen upon return all I could do was sit on my ass with my legs in the air and wait for time to pass.  Rather slowly, I might add.  It seems like I’ve been back for weeks, not 48 hours!

I have emerged with a new title, Fearless Leader, and strengthened bonds of friendship for another 6-12 months, or until my next Utah trip.  I really wish I could go more often, but then the visits wouldn’t be as sweet and we’d become too familiar to each other to not take things for granted.  This way, the next time is so far away it makes us make this time together count.


Things that I learned on this trip:

  • Utah does have drive-thru Starbucks, there just aren’t any along I-80 between California and Tooele, UT.!
  • Everything good (ok, Starbucks) closes at freaking 7:00 p.m., even in Park City!  That’s like, Utah’s personal Mos Eisley for food and drink so I can’t figure out for the life of me why the early bedtime, but alas… that shall remain a mystery for another time.
  • Certain people should not be allowed to be hosts at places of business that serve the public.  Especially if they work at the Baja Cantina and their name starts with L and they dress like a pirate.
  • Alka Seltzer cures nausea for up to 6 hours
  • Sonic’s chili cheese tots are of the devil and should never be eaten no matter how yummy they sound.
  • The Training Table has sweet potato cheese fries.  They are NOT as good as regular cheese fries.  (Will not be making this mistake again)
  • Trips without your children are WAY more fun than you anticipate them to be!
  • Missy’s in-laws need a karaoke machine for their cabin.
  • Despite being at the summit of THE HILL, I can still party until 4:30 a.m. like the rock star that I am.

As usual, I didn’t get to see everyone that I wanted to.  Sometimes I wonder if my requests to get together are more of a chore than a pleasure.  I’ve recently come to learn that getting together (for others) is not the end-all, be-all that it is for me.  It’s hard not to take that personally, but I’m working on it.  My friends uplift me so much, I’m happy if all the time they have for me is the car ride to the grocery store.  I wish I could better put into words what these women mean to me, but it only matters that I know, and I do.

So Utah, I love you!  I miss you!  It was hard to come from the beautiful, green, tree covered valley and mountains to the brown, flat, dirty and dusty place that I live; but Ana Banana gave me a song that brings all the good things back to mind about why I love living here and now I’m going to leave it with you.  If you don’t have time to listen, please come back and do it later!  You won’t regret it.  I’ll post the lyrics at the bottom, too.



Always Come Back

by Niki & Tim Bluhm

Don’t you wanna go where the big trees grow
Kelp forests waving in the sea?
Opening day on San Francisco bay
Sailboats as far as you can see.

May comes along, the days are getting long
Snow still covers the mountains
Sunset goes and the universe grows
So many star you have to stop counting

I’ll always come back to California
I’ll always come back
I’ll keep coming back to California
I’ll always come back to you

Poppies in the spring make the mission bells ring
Rivers running freely over stone
A pick-bangs the strings and everybody sings
The wind from the east is gently blowing

Crops are on the ground autumn’s coming round
West-bound fifty is where I can be found
Home is in the heart
It’s where I got my start
One thing I know whenever I depart

I’ll always come back to California
I’ll always come back
I’ll keep coming back to California
I’ll always come back to you

You Say It’s My Birthday?


The last few days I’ve felt a crash coming on.  Highly inconvenient given that I’m supposed to feel extra fabulous today (is that even possible?  To be more fabulous than I already am??) not like a kid who thinks Santa isn’t real.  Knowing this, I requested on FB yesterday that you all leave me a memory from our mutual past; figuring that it would perk me up.  Once again, I was right!  My brother got me started with a private memory collection that made me cry while I was in line at Starbucks and as I got home and the memories started rolling in, lifting me higher than a balloon on a windy day.

So thank you, everybody.  Thank you for all the memories.  I look forward to making many more with you <3

To Women Everywhere On Mother’s Day

I know Mother’s Day isn’t until Sunday but I also know that, for some, Mother’s Day is not a happy day.  I hope you’ll read this essay that someone shared with me, and that you’ll find something to take with you this Sunday that speaks to you and lets you there’s a place for everyone on this wide continuum of mothering:


“To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.”