I, uh, I got some succulents over the weekend that I want to put in a planter I’ve got.  I asked the dude for directions but he basically made me feel like a moron.  So this morning I was on Pinterest.com and decided I really need to start finiding stuff to pin.  Which sent me to flickr.  Which then made me say to myself, “Duhh… find a how-to video on youTube!”  So I went to youTube and on the front page was a new video from BYUDivineComedy which, normally I would shun because it has the letters B, Y, and U touching together but I watched it.  I thought it was lame because I didn’t know the actual song they were parodying but I knew I’d seen good stuff from them before.  (I know, I’m talking too much, get to the point already!) Anyway, I saw this, and now you must too:

You’re welcome.

(Man, I hope that’s how you spell that word!  I don’t think spell check works in the headline…)

Many of my millions of readers have commented to me that I don’t post any more.  This is not true.  I post quite frequently.  In my head.  I’ve come up with a zillion ideas for great posts, but by the time I get everyone taken care of and then can even use my own computer, I’ve been asleep for three hours and have to get up and start the day all over again.  So you can see why I have a hard time making the connection from my brain to the keyboard!  And now that I’ve sat down to punch out a few of the great ideas I’ve had, I can’t remember a single one of them.  Dammit!

I started by calling this Potpourri because that’s the category they have on Jeopardy! when they have a bunch of answers floating around but not enough to make an entire category of any one genre for you to connect the dots to.  I’m grasping at straws trying to remember all my topics!  I used to carry around a notepad so I could jot things down as they came to me, but then people (and by people I mean Honey) kept stealing my pens.  OH!  Pens!!  I remembered something!

• There’s this store in my town called “Tipton’s Stationery”.  I’m not sure why since 80% of the inventory is not stationery related, but rather china place settings, silver settings, and knick knacks galore.  Also they have a selection of Hallmark cards from 1973 since they aren’t a licensed Hallmark store but do carry the products.  Anyway, anyone who knows me knows that office supplies are my kryptonite, my crack, my booze, my crutch.  And at Tipton’s, they have…. PENS!  Lots and lots of pens.  Pens that are my favorites!!  Pens that for whatever reason you either can’t buy them at OfficeMax/Staples period, or you can but only in a box of 9,000 for $45.87.  And really, I just want one!  Or three.
• “Tea” – I took the boys to Miss Donna to get hair cuts.  She works at a salon now instead of out of her home which on the one hand is great, and on the other hand not great (for various reasons).  The salon started as one salon, and then another salon came along and devoured it and put all the product in the universe in the lobby.  Some of this product is a line of Tazo teas, and Tea Forte teas; which aren’t actually tea at all but tisanes and tinctures (a.k.a. herbal teas).  And there is this one that I am dying to try, but not for $10.95/box.  I checked it on Amazon.com where of course, it’s less, but they don’t have the exact flavor I want!  Jerks.
• My friend Brodi Ashton is a real live author!  She wrote a YA novel called Everneath.  I was secretly worried because Brodi is a rock star and what if I didn’t like her book?  But if it really and truly sucked than she couldn’t have got a book deal to begin with so there’s no way it could suck, right?  It doesn’t suck.  It is the opposite of suck.  I read some of it on FB and it is frakkin’ awesome!  Hurry up and make it be January 24th so I can finish reading it (that’s the official launch date)!!  I wish I could attend the launch party at The Kings English.  Since I can’t, if you live in the Salt Lake City area, will you go for me?  And give her a two thumbs wayyyyy up?  K, thanks!
• We got a Wii for Christmas.  Honey keeps kickin’ my trash at Boom Bloxx.  Why, when I throw and release the exact same way every single time, do I sometimes rock the throwing of baseballs and bowling balls, but other times (ok, most times) do I get air balls?  All kinds of cheating going on is what I say!  We also got Parcheesi for Christmas.  In a round about way.  Mom got me a kindle and a kindle cover.  Except the cover was really made for another e-reader and didn’t fit.  So I exchanged it.  For Parcheesi.  (There weren’t any other cute kindle covers at Target, don’t judge!)  Little D has beat us TWICE.
• Why can’t my teeth just brush themselves?  That way when I rush out the door in the morning and forget that I haven’t brushed my teeth, I won’t be embarrassed when I decide to stop off at the grocery store on the way home from dumping kids off at school.  Especially since it’s the eleventeenth commandment of my other religion to smile every waking moment of the day.
• It was 75′ the other day.  Don’t hate.  I had my windows open all over the house.  Now you can hate.  But not for too long, it went right back to the mid-50′s this week.  If Mother Nature were really a woman, she wouldn’t pull that kind of crap on me.  Only a man could be this cruel.

There’s more, I swear, but it seems the faster I type that the faster time passes, not slower, and I simply can’t keep racking up these Mother of the Year awards for picking my kids up from school late.  But if I don’t hit publish now, I never will and then this will just be another post hanging out in the lounge in my head, drinking lemon-mint nojitos.

 

Happy Christmas Adam, everyone!  (Because Adam came before Eve…)

My son was telling me about Christmas Adam the other day and I thought how clever it was!  SO clever, that I’ve decided to run with it and create a whole new tradition around it.  This year I found it too late, but next year….

Christmas Adam will have gifts.  Gas station gifts.  For those who don’t know about gas station gifts, they are what you get/give to people who tell you late at night the day before Christmas, when all the stores are closed, that they’re coming from great distance to see you on Christmas!!

Christmas Adam will also have games.  “Minute to Win It” type games.  Hopefully, our friends and neighbors will be joining in on the fun.

And food.  Gas station food!  Like crackers and spray cheese.  Funyuns.  Pigs in a blanket.  Beef jerky.  Slim Jims.  King sized candy bars and cheese sticks.  Dessert?  Slushies, donughts, and energy shots!

I wish you and yours the very best on Christmas.  Until then, Merry Christmas Adam!

Until you check TMZ.  Shana the Beautiful called tonight to tell me that Jon Bon Jovi was dead at age 49.  I was stunned.  I did not know what to say.  All I could think of was that my rock god and husband #3 (on my list of husbands for when polyandry comes into fashion) was gone, and I never even got to see him in concert!  I seriously started to cry and was on the verge of upchuck when I did a quick Google search for the details on what happened. 

Mercifully, Jon is alive and well.  Kim Jong Il is the only death today. 

And maybe Shana.

You know those radio call-in contests?  I WON!!  I called in last week and lucky me, all the callers before were incorrect.  I won a family 4 pack of tickets to a Stockton Thunder hockey game, a pair of tickets to the Stockton Symphony, and a $40 gift certificate to a cafe I’ve never heard of but I assume is fabulous! 

Unfortunately the events were on Sunday.  But I was so happy to be able to pass the hockey tickets on to a friend!  And I can use the gift certificate any time, so I gave it to Honey so he can surprise me some night.

My friend the Wiz related a story I told on FB the other day over at Mormon Mommy Wars.  She was cool enough to link to me (which I hope leads to more readers!) and when I came on over to my own blog I realized I haven’t posted in almost a month, and the last few were really depressing!  I promise I’m not normally like that.  Ok, yes, I am.  But I can be funny too and I hope you’ll stick around to find out for yourselves!  In the mean time, take a trip to Mormon Mommy Wars to find out just how concerned the public at large is that poor and hungry families are suffering from malnourishment because of a lack of shelf-stable canned chocolate frosting in their lives.

Our dear friend and brother Dennie Denhalter passed away yesterday morning.  We are sad to lose someone so important, so dear, and so faithful a friend;  but we are grateful that he is free of the great amount of suffering he has endured through the last 13 years.  We could not have had a better example of standing steadfast and immovable in your faith through trials than him.  He never complained or felt sorry for himself, he only drew nearer to God and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and took you along with him.

Thank you all for your prayers for Dennie and his family during the last few months.  Thank you for your love and care as we mourn the loss of our special friend.  I cherish and express my sincerest gratitude for the friendships I have with each of you.  I’m grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given us the knowledge that one day we will all be reunited in his presence to enjoy the company of one another again.

<3