When Rebuilding The Church Looks Like Destroying It*

When Rebuilding The Church Looks Like Destroying It *

I have been accused of believing that the heavens are closed and that God does not speak through his servants today, but that is simply not true.

I believe in the promise and idea of what the church is supposed to be, but that it has been bogged down with policies and cultural preferences that do not reflect the love of our savior Jesus Christ or his mission.  I believe that the church can be what it says it is and I want to help make it better.  If you have no problems or issues at church, I envy you.  I’m not sure whoever said “When the prophet speaks the debate is over”, but they obviously are comfortable with a lot of things I’m not.

Brigham Young said:

“What a pity it would be, if we were led by one man to utter destruction! Are you afraid of this? I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blink self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way. Let every man and woman know, themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not. This has been my exhortation continually.”

For me personally I feel that past and present LDS leaders (local and at HQ) have continually dismissed, covered up, and outright lied about things in the history of the church; and this is in no way acceptable to me as representatives of the Lord.  I am left to wonder what words are theirs, and which are from the God.

I believe these men are godly.  They love the Lord and they love us.  I do not fault them for their imperfections.  I know the Lord works with what he’s got.  But when the people in charge refuse to humble themselves and instead power forward with statements like “We do not apologize” and ignore the damage they’ve done; I no longer trust every word out of their mouth to be from the Lord.

I am no longer content to go through life accepting stones instead of bread.  I am far from perfect in my quest to live a life that is pleasing to my creator.  I believe that he is my judge, and regardless of whether I ticked off all the boxes on a list of rules set forth by imperfect men leading through a glass darkly or not, he will judge me fairly.  I accept that I do not have all the answers.  I hope that if my words or deeds are hurtful or harmful to you that we can have a conversation about it to understand each other better and make changes where necessary.

I struggle now to find the words to end this statement of belief, so I leave you with this:

Merry Christmas, my dear friends.  My words fail me just now as I try to thank you for all you do and all you are to me.  I wish peace and contentment for you all your days.  It is my prayer that when we wake each morning we remember that “Kindness Begins With Me”.  I pray that more suffering will end than begin, and that I can have the strength to do my part in making that a reality.

Xoxo, Sallygirl

*Click and read the link, please.  It’s relevant and germane to my thoughts here.


The Priory of Sion, Sons of Liberty, The Illuminati, and Other Secret Combinations

Secret societies have been around since the beginning of time.  (Didn’t you see Aronofsky’s “Noah”?)  We sort of joke about them mostly being for nefarious purposes, but let’s face it – the truth is boring when it comes to these kinds of groups.  It’s way more fun to speculate about conspiracy theories between governments and religions committing heinous sins to dupe and control the general public, or murdering someone, covering things up, all kinds of crimes to right the wrongs in the world.  It’s fascinating, right?  The reality couldn’t be more far from the truth, though.  I know, because I’m in one!!!

I belong to a secret group of elite people on the internet.  Some of them I know in real life, others are online only.  But we meet together for one purpose, and one purpose only.  To have a safe place to be completely ourselves, warts and all, no matter what and no judgement.  We give each other in copious amounts what we aren’t getting anywhere else in our lives.  Love, kindness, support, strength, building each other up, holding each other in our pain, laughter, raging against whatever (together)… It is seriously the best thing ever, and I don’t know how I got along in life before they invited me in.  Don’t get me wrong, I have some amazing, close, and very personal friends.  People I also couldn’t live without.  People that have kept me alive for so long!  But the other people?  The people in my secret group?  Things that we now know about each other we will carry to our graves.  We would rather betray everything else than tell the things we reveal in our group!  These people, we understand each other SO WELL; and knowing that I belong to this amazing, incredible, awesome group of people?  Gives me a kind of peace nothing else could.

So you see?  Not all secret combinations are bad.

And you people in my group?  I LOVE YOU FOREVER ❤

To Women Everywhere On Mother’s Day

I know Mother’s Day isn’t until Sunday but I also know that, for some, Mother’s Day is not a happy day.  I hope you’ll read this essay that someone shared with me, and that you’ll find something to take with you this Sunday that speaks to you and lets you there’s a place for everyone on this wide continuum of mothering:


“To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.”