I have been accused of believing that the heavens are closed and that God does not speak through his servants today, but that is simply not true.
I believe in the promise and idea of what the church is supposed to be, but that it has been bogged down with policies and cultural preferences that do not reflect the love of our savior Jesus Christ or his mission. I believe that the church can be what it says it is and I want to help make it better. If you have no problems or issues at church, I envy you. I’m not sure whoever said “When the prophet speaks the debate is over”, but they obviously are comfortable with a lot of things I’m not.
Brigham Young said:
“What a pity it would be, if we were led by one man to utter destruction! Are you afraid of this? I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blink self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way. Let every man and woman know, themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not. This has been my exhortation continually.”
For me personally I feel that past and present LDS leaders (local and at HQ) have continually dismissed, covered up, and outright lied about things in the history of the church; and this is in no way acceptable to me as representatives of the Lord. I am left to wonder what words are theirs, and which are from the God.
I believe these men are godly. They love the Lord and they love us. I do not fault them for their imperfections. I know the Lord works with what he’s got. But when the people in charge refuse to humble themselves and instead power forward with statements like “We do not apologize” and ignore the damage they’ve done; I no longer trust every word out of their mouth to be from the Lord.
I am no longer content to go through life accepting stones instead of bread. I am far from perfect in my quest to live a life that is pleasing to my creator. I believe that he is my judge, and regardless of whether I ticked off all the boxes on a list of rules set forth by imperfect men leading through a glass darkly or not, he will judge me fairly. I accept that I do not have all the answers. I hope that if my words or deeds are hurtful or harmful to you that we can have a conversation about it to understand each other better and make changes where necessary.
I struggle now to find the words to end this statement of belief, so I leave you with this:
Merry Christmas, my dear friends. My words fail me just now as I try to thank you for all you do and all you are to me. I wish peace and contentment for you all your days. It is my prayer that when we wake each morning we remember that “Kindness Begins With Me”. I pray that more suffering will end than begin, and that I can have the strength to do my part in making that a reality.
*Click and read the link, please. It’s relevant and germane to my thoughts here.