Still down for repairs.
I feel infinitely better than I did a few weeks ago, and yet… Not. I find myself wanting to return to normal life. It sure would be a heck of a lot more convenient for everybody. I hate being the passenger, especially when Honey is constantly falling asleep at the wheel. Tragically, he’s the safer driver right now. I hate needing a chaperone in public, and I hate that I can’t talk to people like I used to. I do not have time to be sick, patience is NOT in my vocabulary. I am so, SO lonely; but I can’t go where the people are. Too much stimulation.
Can you believe I went to church today? ME NEITHER.
You know how much I love Open Mic Sunday. LOVE. And it was Rainbow Mormon Sunday, too! I still have my ribbon from last year that I wore, signifying that I love and accept you as you are – but I forgot it. Even though we were late, we made it just in time to start with the Open Mic portion AND IT WAS PURE GOLD. Seriously. One guy got up and instead of a testimony gave a huge Sunday School lesson! I think this was probably my most active live tweet of OMS, I even got in a Hamilton reference! But as soon as the meeting was over, I was too. All I wanted to do was sit in the foyer and hold Cool Kids Sunday School like normal, but I hid behind my sunglasses and kept rubbing a figure 8 on the smooth case of my iPhone.
And so loud!!
Normally it’s the best part of the block meeting schedule, when everyone empties the chapel and they mill around, chatting in the foyer and delaying the inevitable by catching up on what happened during the week. Not today though.
Today I burst into tears spontaneously, three times. Why does healing have to take so long?