Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to our coverage of the March 19, 2016th edition of the BPD Games! I’ll be your host, Effie Flickerman, so let’s get started!
No need to introduce yesterday’s victors, there aren’t any in this game!
Here’s what’s plaguing our contestant today:
- physical pain
- social anxiety
- Lying Liars, and the Brains they occupy
- bored children
- clueless husband
- and a pool so fucked up who knows if it’ll come back?
Unfortunately the weather is cooperating and it’s nice and sunny outside, but don’t you worry! These BPD Games are so intense, we can ruin that for you, too!
Now the contestant known as “Sallygirl” from District SJVCA isn’t without merit. She’s tenacious and will not go down without a fight! She will send the shit out of some Good Mail, rock the hell out of some Queen, AC/DC, and the Violent Femmes; spread cheer by sharing Instagram photos of phallic cacti in her secret combination FB group, enjoy a medible now and then, and curate a list of vintage postage and vinyl in a New York minute!
But don’t worry, we’ve got the upper hand. She can only hold out for so long before exhaustion, self doubt, and paranoia set in. We’ll keep her in bed staring at the walls and crying off and on for days for no real reason at all! We’ve also got a lifetime supply of baggage, judgements, and negative messages playing on an endless loop; just for fun!
That’s all for now, join us next time, providing there is one!