I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now. And lonely. I scored these gorgeous strawberries in Pleasanton yesterday (at Safeway of all places!) and planned to make jam today, but nobody could come and play with me. Chances are, nobody will be available tomorrow, either. And it hurts really bad. I have all these friends, all these people that love me. But either I just have incredibly bad luck, or I don’t know what because it feels like none of my friends are there for me. That’s probably not true, but that’s how it feels. It’s hard for me to reach out when I’m feeling bad and alone, and the times that I have just don’t work out for anyone else.
I’m tired of reaching out. I’m tired of stretching my comfort zone. I’ve exhausted myself trying to make things happen for me, and I can’t take any more heartbreak when it doesn’t.
I just want one friend. One person I can call, one person that will call me. Someone that likes the same stuff I do. Someone that isn’t too busy to go to JoAnn’s or make jam once in awhile. Someone that enjoys the same trashy tv shows and can’t wait to talk about it together. Someone that doesn’t make me make all the effort. Someone that understands that I can’t call them when I’m having a bad day, I need them to call me because they just know how I am.
I’d like to say there’s a position open for this person, but I already know that no one wants the job.