Home Makeover Time! (Sort of)

My dog is going batshit crazy over the lawn guys in my back yard right now.  They’ve been here for like an hour, and will be for many more.  They’re so scared of her they run away from closed doors.  She is a BEAST when it comes to protecting us!  Which is great, unless you’re a woman burglar.  Then she’ll just let you in and show you where all our worthless crap is.  I should’ve asked the vet for some doggy Xanax for this project.  What project you ask?  Why, my new back yard project!  Today’s the day they start working on installing the synthetic lawn that I’ve been pining for, for years!

No, not astroturf you jerk.  AWESOME, real-looking, fake grass!!

So far I’ve offered them bottled water, twice, and told them if they need to use “the facilities” to just let me know.  I’ll lock Chelsea up so they can pee without fear.  And no, I’m not worried about letting strange guys in my house because remember my dog?  That bitch will eat through doors to get to me if I tell her to!  Anyway, I wonder if other people that get work done are not as nice as me because they act all weird that I’m being a human being to them.

I should’ve taken “before” photos so I could show you how truly awesome this transformation will be.  Oh well, you’ll have to settle for “after”!  Which will be up as soon as we slap together our Phat Tommy adriondack chairs that I got from eBay last week.  Did I mention that me & eBay are BFFs?  We totally are.  Me, Amazon, and eBay.  The three amigas.

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