(50 billion house points if you get that reference)
Tonight is a night that is different from all others. It is sacred and special and holy (in my other religion).
It is Cinco de Mayo Eve.
You may be saying to yourself, “Cinco de Mayo Eve? Who knew there was such a holiday?” And you would be right to be highly confused because there is no holiday known as Cinco de Mayo Eve.
There is a holiday tomorrow called “Stink-o de Mayo”.
You may also be unfamiliar with this holiday, but that is okay. It means you are not of my tribe.
My family is so white, we make milk look tan. To show our acceptance for the lack of (visible) ethnicity in our family and to embrace one that we love so much (Mexican), we revel in similitude for a few short minutes between the hours of twelve midnight and 4:00 a.m. on May the 5th of each year.
It is a challenge to be the first to call and shriek things like “Andele! Andele! Arriba! Arriba! Ah-ha ah-ha! E-hah! E-hah! Taco! Burrito! Enchilada! Salsa!! Aye! Aye! Aye!” at the top of our lungs at the most obscene hour possible.
If you are first, you win. If you are not, you are a loser.
If you would like to “go pro” and join in the festivities, leave a comment and direct message me your phone number so that you can be initiated into our
cult family. We will be happy to accommodate you!