Armchair Psychology

Ok, put on your shrinking caps, I’m putting you to work for me today!

Ever since before Facebook was invented I was a person who liked to and would try to reconnect with old friends.  There were girls I stayed in touch with off and on since we graduated high school, one friend I’d known since birth (literally, our moms were pregnant together), and various neighbors; and when I up and joined FB one day that world exploded into just about everybody I’d ever known.  By and large this has been a good thing.  I don’t know anybody that reconnects with old enemies, right?  Except…

In a town not far from me lives a guy that used to live down the street from me growing up.  Although I don’t particularly remember this person being horrible to me ever, he was friends with many who were.  Also (and I’m really hoping he doesn’t remember this), I uber-crushed on one of his friends for like, ALL of elementary school.  Possibly all the way to high school, but it definitely ended there when I realized what an asshat he was and that he’s shorter than me, but I digress.

So because I’m a nice person and I like to surround myself with nice (read: benign) people I reached out to this person when his first daughter was born a few years ago and said I would make her one of my quilts.

(It’s my thing.  It’s what I do.  I tie crib quilts.  It’s one of the few things I’m pretty good at, and I’m so insecure about it I won’t even let my kids help tie it because then I won’t be able to take all the credit for it.)

Clearly I’m not big on follow through because time has so far passed that he had another kid, and now they’re like 2 and 4 years old.  This thing, this thing I said I would do and didn’t niggled at me like a push pin on a boulder of sandstone, boring a hole straight through.  Finally, I got a wild hair and went out and bought the materials and made the quilts and now I find myself in a bit of a pickle.

How do I get them to the girls?

They’re not heavy, but they’re big enough that they don’t fit in any of the flat rate Priority Mail boxes.  Even if they did, I don’t have that kind of cash to throw at postage.  I don’t want to ask him to pay the postage because he never even asked for the quilts in the first place.  Also, he did my kid a favor and brought back money from India for one of his merit badges.

I did the only logical thing left and invited them over for a bbq and a swim.  Except… I’m terrified of getting together with this person from my past.

I feel like my inner child is holding out an olive branch to her tormentors (or rather someone that represents them) and is scared of how it will be received.  We’re not real friends, right?  What if he was mean and I just don’t remember it?  That’s awkward.  Or worse… what if he remembers the crush???  That is more kinds of embarrassing than I can count on two hands.

None of those things changes who I am.  It doesn’t really change who he is (they are) now, either.  I just need an extra shot of confidence and a deep breath before I take the plunge.

Sometimes I hate being an over-thinker.

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3 thoughts on “Armchair Psychology

  1. Any chance you can just drop them off at his house? I can’t help you much because I have SUCH anxiety meeting people that I once knew. Most of the time I’m ok, but sometimes it really gets to me. Especially when they were mean to me as a kid. I’m going home this summer for the first time in years and am having anxiety because there are a few people I don’t want to run into. (It’s a small community. Unless they are out of town for the holiday, I am SURE to run into them.) Even though it’s been years and we’re adults now, two of these girls still hold something over me and I cannot let it go. They were just so mean. They could and still can stop me in my tracks by a single look.
    When I run into guys I crushed on when I was younger I want to become invisible. I just hope against hope they don’t remember and neither does anyone else. Or at the very least they’ll know that it was a long time ago and I was young and dumb.
    I guess it’s best to act like an adult and just pretend you didn’t crush on his friend. Talk about things happening now and don’t walk too far down memory lane. Have ideas of what you can talk about to keep the past from coming up. Good luck!
    Post later and let us know how it goes….

  2. I think a drop-off without a big to-do will be the easiest for you to handle, and like I said on the phone earlier, the act of giving might be healing. You are awesome. Love you.

  3. I’m unsure if you already invited them over? If so, remember…everyone was young and dumb when we were young and dumb. Most people realize this and regret the mistakes that were made and are eager to move on and be adults. Hopefully this person is a mature sort who will not have any interest in recalling any painful memories. If you haven’t invited them yet, I say drop off. Much less stress involved. I freak out when I have to throw a social event. Good luck!

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