Labor Pains

I hired my first gardener today.  I wish it were for ongoing services, but this is just a one-off job.  This guy came around to my house a few weeks ago and gave me an awesome quote.  $50 to clean out my two front beds, remove two smallish trees, a ginormous shrubbery, some rosebushes (Mom’s gonna crap a brick backwards when she finds out), and assorted detrius that has gathered there.

The conversation seemed to be going well until he just owned up to it and said “You know what?  I no understand you very well.  You call later?”  Well, I didn’t really want to call later, I wanted to call right. now! so I could have something to look forward to.  So I did what any white bread, middle class, stay at home mom would do.  I busted out my high school Spanish (minus the cuss words) and turned the light bulb on for him.  After we got that settled he said he’d be over at 9:00 on Wednesday next week.  I’m very excited!  I think, though, maybe I should have already got my 50 year weedcloth to pin down.  I mean, they’re just going to grow right back, right?  Little bat turds…

Every year I plan this wonderful garden.  You know, because I can’t keep cacti and succulents alive but I totally can grow some food for my family!  Every year I buy the tomato plants that they have at the store, luring me in with their siren call as I near the magic doors, and every year I fail to actually get them into the ground or another pot and they all die.  It’s shameful, really.  In my (not really defensible) defense, the Dog from Hell lives with me and destroys everything I try to do to beautify my back yard so even if I had got them transplanted they would’ve been killed off anyway.  Since I have no front lawn, I’ve decided to garden out there.  And why not?  Surely my watermelon, corn, tomatoes and peas will be much better to look at than a rainforest in miniature!  Everyone always says how much space melons take up, but guess what?  I’ve got tons of it out front so there!


One thought on “Labor Pains

  1. did you get his business card? I have some raspberry bushes that I can’t get up! 🙂 That sounds excellent! btw I saw such and awesome garden in someones front yard once and it did not look bad!

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