Weekend Update (Not with Dennis Miller, though)

Oh.  My.  Lanta!!!


So much to write, so little brain power to remember….

Camping was good.  If by good you mean it was hotter than Hell and you forgot to give your kid his afternoon booster medication every day of the trip.  That’s the simple version.  Overall, glad to have had time with my bestie and glad to know she still loves me even when I’m in full-on meltdown mode while she’s having a not-so-easy time of things herself.

Things I have learned from this camping trip:

  • NEVER camp closer than 2.5 hours from my home.  It will be hot, and not hott.
  • Definitely buy a trailer.  And a double-decker air mattress.
  • Even in a car with a trunk big enough for two bodies, there still is not enough room to bring your family of 5 and all their necessary crap.
  • Your kid only needs two outfits.  One to wear up and every single other day you’re there, and a clean one to come home in.  It’s all going to turn to crap anyway, why create more work for when you get home?
  • Two nights seems hardly worth all the work it takes to go camping, but three is way too many.


Things I learned after (but not related to) the trip:

  • Do not write letters to your neighbor at 4:16 in the morning no matter how nice you are trying to be about the fact that their damn dog has barked you awake two nights mornings in a row now.  You still sound bitchy even if you put it on a nice card.  Mom says I can make them feel like crap by taking them cookies or something and just dropping it as if I accidentally dropped my tissue on the ground. “Oh by the way, can you shut up your damn dog so I can sleep?  Otherwise, I might start bringing you cookies with Ex-Lax instead of chocolate chips.  Or slipping some Ambien filled meatballs over the fence at night.”
  • Don’t plan another trip to take one week after you get back from camping.  You will still not be recovered from the trauma, and you might get the flu or some pretty excessive allergies that feel like a mac truck hit you in the face.
  • When you go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II on opening night, swipe extra Harry-style 3D glasses even though they told you only one per person so when they don’t have any left on your second viewing two days later, your other kids won’t be depressed.
  • No amount of caffiene-loading will keep you from yawning after 8:00 p.m., no matter how early in the day you start.
  • Don’t forget your meds.  Not even once.  Especially not two doses in a row.  Especially especially if you are getting sick.  There’s a reason they call them “happy pills”.

There are many, sooooooooo many other lessons I have learned in the last week!  But one side of my face keeps snotting up and it is 11:22 p.m. so I suppose it’s late enough to get a start on pretending I will get any sleep tonight.

Bag of corn cheetos my friends.  Bag of corn cheetos.  (If you know what the Spanish version of that Spanglish phrase is, I tip my hat to you on your language skillz!)


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