I woke up all ready to post and in the time it took me to take B to school and back, my mojo deflated! I’ve been sitting here all morning trying to get it back, but bleh. No luck. I was about to go chug down one of those 5 hour energy drinks (Yuk!) to get me moving and decided to put on my wake up juice playlist before toddling out to find one when something amazing happened: SUPER TROUPER!! Nothing like a little ABBA to bring the smile back into your day! It also helped that MJ wanting to start somethin’ (HEE-HA!!) came in as backup.
So here’s what’s up: I am a chicken!
I feel like there is a lot of crap in my life. And I am smoldering inside. And the crap is about to blow! But I am a coward and afraid to stand up and say “NO MORE!”
I am so unhappy. It seems like no matter what I do or say (or how I say it!) it is “wrong”. I know I’m dysfunctional, but nobody can be that wrong all. the. time!! So I may as well just do what I want since either way I’m wrong, right? NO. I am a chicken! I am afraid of what will happen when I do that!! Don’t worry though, I am slowly approaching the statement “It sucks anyway, so why not let it suck while you are changing things so you can be happy?” In the mean time, I am looking for a punching bag. Literally. Because I am turning into a tightly wound coil that is going to spring at any moment, and there might be casualties. I don’t want to cuss as much as I have been. I don’t want to be a mean person inside. I don’t want to mow down my innocent children because they happened to be the match that lit the fuse. Words are my weapon, and I am a master assassin.
So I really need to get that punching bag.