Wakey Wakey!

I woke up all ready to post and in the time it took me to take B to school and back, my mojo deflated!  I’ve been sitting here all morning trying to get it back, but bleh.  No luck.  I was about to go chug down one of those 5 hour energy drinks (Yuk!) to get me moving and decided to put on my wake up juice playlist before toddling out to find one when something amazing happened:  SUPER TROUPER!!  Nothing like a little ABBA to bring the smile back into your day!  It also helped that MJ wanting to start somethin’ (HEE-HA!!) came in as backup.

So here’s what’s up:  I am a chicken!

I feel like there is a lot of crap in my life.  And I am smoldering inside.  And the crap is about to blow!  But I am a coward and afraid to stand up and say “NO MORE!”

I am so unhappy.  It seems like no matter what I do or say (or how I say it!) it is “wrong”.  I know I’m dysfunctional, but nobody can be that wrong all. the. time!!  So I may as well just do what I want since either way I’m wrong, right?  NO.  I am a chicken!  I am afraid of what will happen when I do that!!  Don’t worry though, I am slowly approaching the statement “It sucks anyway, so why not let it suck while you are changing things so you can be happy?”  In the mean time, I am looking for a punching bag.  Literally.  Because I am turning into a tightly wound coil that is going to spring at any moment, and there might be casualties.  I don’t want to cuss as much as I have been.  I don’t want to be a mean person inside.  I don’t want to mow down my innocent children because they happened to be the match that lit the fuse.  Words are my weapon, and I am a master assassin.

So I really need to get that punching bag.

Soon.

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