Sometimes I wish Santa would just forget about Christmas and concentrate on my birthday instead. Yes, yes, it’s still six weeks away; but one must abide by the Scout Motto of “Be Prepared!!” when it comes to this occasion! Without further ado, here is what is on my list of “Gifts I will not refuse” should they arrive at my doorstep:
A porch swing, that I may enjoy watching my children swim while I read every afternoon this summer.
Assorted jam fruit plants, because although I live in suburbia, in my mind it’s a 5 acre hobby farm.
On my hobby farm, I also have a mid-century modern home. With a sunburst mirror.
And wear smokin’ hot Calvin Klein sandles that magically make my cankles disappear.
But only after I’ve showered in my (newly re-tiled by you) bitchin’ bathroom.
I understand that even Santa has budgetary restrictions so I came up with some items he’s more likely to have close by:
My favorite scented candles at Target, found in the Smith & Hawken section!
Vintage travel posters or post cards are delightful and easy to find on eBay!
An old-school hardcover copy of “The Boxcar Children”. I remember reading this book soon after my father passed away, and I wanted to be one of the children hiding and sneaking meals and providing for my family like the main characters in the book do. Fortunately for me, I lived in front of a large orchard/church farm that had many hiding places which allowed me to pretend to be Jessie to my heart’s content!
The naughtiest little boy in the universe lives inside me, and this is his story. If you have one I can buy or know of where I can find a Mercer Mayer illustrated copy of “The Great Brain at the Academy”, we can be BFFs for LIFE!
A Brazilian rope hammock would also rock my summer. I need somewhere more comfortable to tan!!
It’s hard to get a decent tan without some Bain de Soleil orange gelee, so make sure you get a truckload of that for me, too.
I could also probably use one of these up pretty quick. And who knows, if this bounteous booty winds up in my hot little hands this May 28th? You could find yourself on the receiving end, too. I like to share my happy in the form of poolside ‘cues and summer blockbuster movie attendance.
I hope you feel prepared for the massive amount of shopping you’ve got ahead of you. Should you find yourself short on time, I also accept gift cards in the form of Amazon.com, eBay, and Target.
Raise your glass! (60 zillion house points if you catch that reference)