Play That Funky Music, Christmas!

Bing Crosby is Christmas music incarnate.  If you are unaware of this because your parents failed to give you a quality musical education, I can recommend a good attorney to represent you in a negligent parenting lawsuit. Also, if you hear anybody other than Bing singing “Mele Kalikimaka” , let me know.  I’m putting together a class action suit on the grounds that hearing it sung by anybody other than Bing Crosby with the Andrews Sisters causes severe mental anguish and loss of hearing;  the trauma being so great that it causes you to like things like Muzak and New Age.

Oh my gosh I’m so hopped up on holiday tunes right now it’s not even funny!  The one thing that’s getting me through this time (okay, maybe not ONE but one of many) is Run DMC’s Christmas in Hollis.  A little sampling:

“It’s Christmas time in Hollis, QUEENS!  Mom’s cookin’ chicken an’ collard GREENS!  Rice and stuffing, macaroni & CHEESE and Santa put gifts on the Christmas TREES!…. Rhymes so loud and proud you hear it it’s Christmas time an’ we got tha spirit!… The time is NOW and the place is HERE!… We wanna say Merry Christmas an’ Happy New Year!”

I also love Sting’s version of “I Saw Three Ships” Get your drum on, Africa!  I picture beautiful black people in colorful clothing and tribal jewelry dancing around in bare feet with their arms in the air, moving their whole bodies this way and that to the rhythm.  I guess white people could do it too, but they would look pretty silly.

Barenaked Ladies has an AWESOME holiday CD titled “Barenaked for the Holidays“.  I recommend “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” (with a haunting appearance by Sara McLachlan), “Deck the Stills”, “Sleigh Ride” and a special rendition of “Jingle Bells”.

If you are sitting alone, in a dark room, in front of the fireplace watching the snow fall (or raindrops making ripples in your pool), the song you need is “Silent Night” a la Boyz II Men.

If you are the sappiest person alive next to Barry Manilow and can’t let go of George Michael playing for the other team, then it’s “Last Christmas” for you!

Little Stevie Wonder always does it for me in “What Christmas Means to Me” when I want to get my groove on, but the song you need for a family singalong in the car is “Little Saint Nick” by the Beach Boys.  With little boys crooning the backup vocals, Christmas caroling is a whole new experience!

What Christmas song list would be complete without Jose Feliciano wishing you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of his heart in “Feliz Navidad” ?

Prospero ano nuevo, Ninos!

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One thought on “Play That Funky Music, Christmas!

  1. Good picks — I have a Bing Crosby two disc set! My Christmas playlist is the longest one on my ipod. I was just listening to Ray Charles, That Spirit of Christmas. So good 🙂

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