I had a busy morning today. Was late running the kids to school, ran over to the dentist to drop off the candy
we forced the kids wanted to donate for the troops, found out we won a set of tickets to our local hockey game (Thanks Dr. Andrews!!), spent too long visiting with her rockstar staff (who are at this point like family we’ve been going there so long and they are just. that. AWESOME!!), ran over to Honey’s work to grade and put together new homework packets, raced to my therapist appointment, huff, puff, huff, puff… I need a drink!!!
So I stopped at the closest Mickey D’s and ordered a medium 1/2 & 1/2 (half Coke, half Diet Coke) because I needed some joy juice to keep me going through to the afternoon! In the past I hadn’t really drunk soda with enough abandon to worry about it being a problem as far as empty calories goes, but since I’ve been drinking Coke like it might go out of production at any moment and it’s starting to becoming one. A problem. I hate Diet Coke with as much passion as you can imagine and then some so I can’t exactly switch to diet completely without driving myself to really drink, but I can’t go on with full calorie Coke either, so I decided a good compromise was the half and half. Back to the real story….
So I pull up to the drive thru and after declining their newest caramel mocha whatever I say: “I’d like a medium Coke, but could you please make that half Coke and half diet Coke?”
To which the drive-thru chick says, “What??”
“I’d like a medium Coke, but could you make it only HALF Coke and HALF diet Coke?!”
“Um, could you repeat that please?“
“LISTEN – I’D LIKE A MEDIUM SODA. I WANT YOU TO FILL IT HALF WAY WITH REGULAR COKE, AND THEN THE OTHER HALF WITH DIET COKE. YOU GOT IT?!?!”
“Oh sure, that’s $1.09 at the first window.”
Whisky Tango Foxtrot?! Did I really just have to give my drink order three times???
It gets better.
I pull up to the second window where I expect them to be shoving my drink out the window. (chirping crickets)
Tick… tick… tick… Anybody there??? I sat at the 2nd window for three minutes before someone came over and started positioning already filled drinks this way and that. Then she dumps half of a medium soda out, fills two larges, pours the remaining medium into a large and tops off the large with the machine and hands it to me.
Ba-dum-dum (cymbal crash)!! Thank you, thank you! I perform twice nightly five days a week at the School for Scoundrels for the next two weeks! (fade to black)