I'm not often the subject of the compliments I receive. Despite my size, I can see beauty in my face; but quite often the compliments people pay me are about my children.
Most recently were some about my children, mostly B. He was the co-narrator of our congregation's Primary Children's Program at church two weeks ago. It helps, I think, that he has a bit of a dramatic flair.
Often I'm told how sweet or thoughtful the boys are. My first reaction is, "Really?" If only they could exhibit this behavior at home, life would be a dream!
Once in awhile I'm complimented on my eyes, but I must be vain because I want to hear how beautiful I am as a whole package! Sometimes it's not enough to know you are beautiful on the inside.
The lines I walk are blurry. One day I may feel the embodiment of womanhood, including good looks, and the very next day I may feel as unsure of myself as a newborn colt trying to stand up for the first time. Another day I might feel like Superwoman. So much accomplished in so little time, stand in awe of my capabilities! Perhaps a few days later feelings of I'm not sure if I can get dressed today, let alone be Wife or Mom – are flooding my mind. How can this happen? How can we feel so pleased and happy with ourselves one minute, and then total worthlessness the next?
I'm learning what to do when it does. Like an alcoholic, I must take life one day at a time. Sometimes it turns into minute by minute. That's the nature of this disease, depression. The important thing is to come out on top, no matter how long it takes to get there. To quote one of my favorite fictional characters, Anne Shirley, "Each day is fresh with no mistakes."