What the crap does “veritable” mean? Seriously. I heard it in a song once. From Charlotte’s Web, even. “A fair, is a veritable smorgasbord (orgasbord-orgasbord) after the…” You don’t really have to answer, I looked it up right after I asked you. Unless, you don’t know? Then you may check.
Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It started yesterday. You know how when you’re about to get a migraine your body gives you signals it’s coming? Weird optical stuff, sensitivity to light, smell, sound, etc? I have something similar anywhere from a few hours to the day before an episode like today. I don’t know why! But it carried over into today and vomited all over my face and into my son’s new psychiatrist appointment. I tried to rein it in, really I did, but alas… I have the strength of a gnat and let’s just say it did not go well. I will not number the ways because I’m trying to go to bed right now (but I couldn’t let this die), and also – I can’t count that high.
Let’s just say that office managers were consulted, other doctors called, husbands had to leave work early as allowing me to operate heavy machinery was clearly a liability, and stop there. I could also be saying that when I have a bad day, I do it with style. Panache, even. It is a sight spectacular to behold, much like a train wreck. I’m definitely thanking God that I only have these 2-3x a month! After that I thank Him for my husband who takes it all in stride, and my friends who do a great job of loving me in just the ways that I need.
A few of you might say to yourselves, “If it really was all that horrible, why are you putting it out in the universe where it can come back to haunt you?!” or “It’s either not really that bad because you’re joking about it or you’re embellishing for the Oh Poor Me factor.” Here’s what I say to that: 1 – I do it because I know that we all struggle with something. Maybe even the same thing. Maybe to a lesser degree, maybe greater. But if nobody talks about it, it exacerbates the feeling of being alone and I know I’m not alone because I take hostages! and B) Yeah. It really is that bad. So piss off!! Self-depreciating humor is one of my coping mechanisms. That, and the lawyers said I have to do full disclosure by warning you about the hostage thing.
I think I’m finally ready to roll into bed. My brain has been too overstimulated to get to sleep at a decent hour recently and now that it’s begging for it I force myself to stay up because I know you don’t want to miss any of the dishes at my buffet!
Goodnight, my friends. I hope none of you sleeps as good as me.
(For you I hope it’s even better!)