Superstitious, Supersmichious!

I don’t have enough fingers or toes to count how many things I’m superstitious about.  And maybe the correct term isn’t superstitious but rather wishful thinking, or severe OCD.  At any rate…. the following is a list of my neuroses in no particular order:

 

•    Exact Change – I’m an exact change freak.  If I’m paying cash and I can come up with the exact change, surely this will bring me good luck!  And if I don’t have exact change, but the correct amount of $1 bills or pennies to make my change come back to me in a “0” or “5”(whether through paper or silver money), that’s just as good.  No good luck for my backup plan, but definitely good Ju-Ju!
•    Dates and Birthdates – Any birthday, anniversary of any kind, or other monumental occasion that ends in a “0” or “5” is extra special and must therefore be celebrated with extra care!  Proof positive:  Your wedding anniversary is a big deal and special, right?  Meh… not so much if it’s years 12 or 13.  But your 10th, 15th, 20th and on?  HUGE!!!  There must be some serious presents or trips involved when you reach those milestones!
•    Numbers in General – I don’t make it a habit of counting things like steps, or times I do something, etc.  But if I walk somewhere and happen to notice that it took me X or Y amount of steps (X and Y being numbers that end in a “0” or “5”) I get excited and expect good luck to follow.  Or if I’m passing something out, I like it to be X number too.  If all else fails, as long as I can divide whatever it is equally by any number (even those that are not X or Y divisible), it saves me a lot of anguish about not having everything turn out equal.
•    Except for… Trips – I like to take trips with an odd amount of days.  It goes without saying that trips must start on a M, W, or F though.
•    Yes, God is love, but he’s still vengeful! – Proof positive:  Every time, literally EVERY SINGLE TIME I do something I’m not supposed to, I get dinged!  I took a solo trip to Utah several years back and stopped at the grocery store, on a Sunday, to get lunch on my way to the airport.  I stepped in a hole in the parking lot and twisted my ankle so bad you’da peed your pants laughing at watching the fall and nearly lost my two front teeth when they landed smack on the black top!!  Also, on another more recent trip to Utah I played a slot machine in the gas station.  Usually I just play my lucky quarter, but apparently they only take dollar bills now (maybe my sin was spending the dollar instead of just the quarter?) so I slid one in and started touching the screen.  Later that day?  I GOT PINK EYE!!!  Did I mention that I wear contacts and neither had my glasses nor a spare pair of lenses?  Despite these and other evidences of retribution for breaking various commandments, I still sin.  What is wrong with me?!

There are many, many more examples of my lunacy superstitions, but I have to get dressed at some point this morning as I am working at the kids’ school carnival in 24 minutes.  I hope you have enjoyed our tour today and come back again soon!

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