There’s some pretty badass stuff you can use Google for. Did you know that you can enter an equation in the search box and it will compute it for you? Seriously! There’s a translator, a dictionary, alll kinds of amazing things! (no. that was not a typo.)
The worst trouble I’ve ever gotten myself into is… a bench warrant for an unpaid speeding ticket in Nevada. True story. I tell ya what, though… it’s just the motivation I needed! What if I got pulled over with my kids in the car? “Sorry, we have to take your mommy to jail because she’s a deadbeat. And you only have one car in your family so we’ll just put you in foster care while your dad sorts that out.”
I have done a few illegal naughty things in my lifetime. I would err on the side of caution and not name them here, but caution isn’t in my dictionary and I can’t use Google because I’m busy writing this, so… here goes:
- My sister and I used to go for walks at night. With eggs in our pockets. They would get left on the seats of drivers that were dumb enough to leave their windows down overnight. I think that falls under “vandalism”.
- I drove from Seal Beach, CA to Monrovia, CA without having a driver’s license. That’s right, NO LICENSE. I was 15 and had permission from the vehicle’s owner. That is all. (Except that my sister drove, too and she is 3 years younger than me.)
- I have sent drugs through the mail. Nothing illicit, mind you. People visit and leave their prescriptions behind. This can cause huge problems!!
- I may have hit more than one parked car when I first started driving in the Smith’s parking lot and did not leave a note. I did check to make sure there was no damage, and painful as it would have been to me I would have left a note if there had been.
- I used to drive 20+ miles over the speed limit without care. Now I keep it between 5-10, depending on how empty the highway is.
- While on a trip to St. George with my then-bestie Rachel, we drove to Vegas at 11:00 at night and spent all night wandering up and down the Strip, stopping in at various casinos to play our roll of quarters. I won $25 on a nickle machine and bought us some pizza at Planet Hollywood in Caesar’s Palace, where we were waited on by a Ted Danson lookalike.
Are you shocked?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.