has arrived in my mailbox.
Recently I had a dream that President Monson called me into his office. He wanted to go mano a mano on the pants thing. “The Lord wants you to wear skirts now, Sallygirl. The pants were okay for a season, but the times – they are a’changein’ and you’re going to be need to be properly dressed.”
The next day my spring wardrobe arrived on my doorstep and amongst the contents was what I like to call: Fat Chick Spanx (FCS). It’s basically pantyhose without the legs and it goes down to your knees. Much like my magic underwear does, only this stays. in. place!!! I like it so much that it is now 86 minutes post-church and I’m still in my skirt! I’m pretty sure I tried using this product before, but it was so small, so terrifyingly tight, I couldn’t even get my arm into it. When I came across them again, I read the reviews that other people who purchased this product wrote and they mentioned the smallness as well and said to go one size bigger. I went two and still got a workout trying to fit into them!
I actually like skirts, you know. I think they’re cute and girly, etc., etc. but the whole chafing thing made it impossible. So now I am fixed and wearing skirts (and maybe dresses!) again, and all of those of you who were worried for my soul can now take a deep breath and rest up until I do something else that compromises my salvation. Like wearing earrings in both holes on each ear! ;^D