The Third Horseman of the Apocalypse

has arrived in my mailbox.

Recently I had a dream that President Monson called me into his office.  He wanted to go mano a mano on the pants thing.  “The Lord wants you to wear skirts now, Sallygirl.  The pants were okay for a season, but the times – they are a’changein’ and you’re going to be need to be properly dressed.”

The next day my spring wardrobe arrived on my doorstep and amongst the contents was what I like to call:  Fat Chick Spanx (FCS).  It’s basically pantyhose without the legs and it goes down to your knees.  Much like my magic underwear does, only this stays.  in.  place!!!  I like it so much that it is now 86 minutes post-church and I’m still in my skirt!  I’m pretty sure I tried using this product before, but it was so small, so terrifyingly tight, I couldn’t even get my arm into it.  When I came across them again, I read the reviews that other people who purchased this product wrote and they mentioned the smallness as well and said to go one size bigger.  I went two and still got a workout trying to fit into them!

I actually like skirts, you know.  I think they’re cute and girly, etc., etc. but the whole chafing thing made it impossible.  So now I am fixed and wearing skirts (and maybe dresses!) again, and all of those of you who were worried for my soul can now take a deep breath and rest up until I do something else that compromises my salvation.  Like wearing earrings in both holes on each ear!  ;^D

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The Third Horseman of the Apocalypse

  1. Isn’t it funny how dreams motivate us? Did I tell you about the dream I had (just before we went to S.F. last time) where one of my girls fell off of the boat underneath the Golden Gate Bridge? I left the two younger girls at Grandma’s (much to my husband’s dismay). I’m still convinced that I saved the life of one of them.

    As far as Spanx goes, after I split open my favorite pair of jeans last week (in the check-out line at Costco!) I decided I should look into getting a pair…

Comments here ---> (please?)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s