Why Can’t…

everyone be as generous as our pool guy? Vitaly is a really great guy from Belarus.  We found this awesome pool service that has super-cheap rates for chemicals only.  The rates for sweeping & basket emptying are super cheap too, but we are dirt poor and have to do those menial tasks ourselves.  But Vitaly?  He does them for us anyway.  He even bought us this chlorine tab floaty thingy and isn’t charging us.  “Eeets like Chreestmas geeft, hokayy?”

doctors invent fat transplants? They’ve invented everything else, why can’t they invent a way for me to donate my fat to someone who really needs it, like my husband or the Somalians?

I burn a candle like a normal person? I scour the candles for one with a wick directly in the center and I place them on a flat surface, but it never fails that the candles I love most will melt one side faster than the other and the candle caves in on itself.  Never happens with those cheapie candles, noooooooo, just the $7 & up ones.

my dog puke somewhere outside? Seriously, the door is open all day long now (THANKYEWJESUS!) so she can go outside to do her business.  Is the out of doors not good enough for her vomit?  Maybe if she would stop eating chocolate birthday cake….

I figure my middle child out? This kid… I have tortured myself backwards and forwards trying to find something he’s passionate about (besides all the shows on the Disney Channel) so we can get him involved in something, but no.  Nothing.  I’ve offered all manner of sports, books, hobbies, etc. and he is just not having it.  See, B, I know he loves books.  So I can buy him a book I think he’d like and he’s happy.  Or some science kit.  Or piece of sports equipment.  D I can also do things for.  If it’s a dinosaur, Star Wars, Lego, books, magazines, sports, etc. he’s all over it like white on rice.  But S?  Nada.

I read faster? Seriously, I have over 290 books on my Goodreads list.  It’s ridiculous.

dinner just assemble itself? Isn’t it enough that I come up with the meal idea and ingredients, I have to put it all together and cook, too?

It’s tough being me! LOL!!!

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