I’ve Been On Vaycay (And other AMAZING lies I have to tell!)

I haven’t had much time to write lately (lie).  I have all kinds of time to write, but not much to say (also a lie, but only partly).  I’ve actually had several things I want to write about, I just don’t get around to it (true).  Since school’s been out for the summer, I spend all my time with the kids (true).  We’ve been going to the beach, museums, camping, swimming, and I’ve had loads of fun projects for them to do to help pass off stuff  in their Cub Scouts books (total and complete load of crap).  Seriously ladies… if you were in the running for Mother of the Year 2009, I just cut my way to the top of the nominees like a hot knife thru water (complete truth)!!

All kidding aside, here are some blog posts I would have written had I not been spending every waking moment playing “Pirates: Rule the Caribbean!” on Facebook so busy keeping the house clean and the garden weed-free.  And now, in no particular order:

  • “Are We There Yet???” in which I write that we had to stop more often for the kids to pee than we did for the dog on the drives to Utah and back on Memorial Day Weekend.  Also, there are NO DRIVE-THRU STARBUCKS ON I-80 BETWEEN SACRAMENTO AND SALT LAKE CITY.  That’s like finding a town that hasn’t been invaded by Wal-Mart!  Only worse!!
  • “Holy Mother of All Things Parental Abuse” in which I would have written about whomever thought up Summer Vacation should be drawn and quartered.  This post was thought up at 5:39 a.m. the day after school got out for the year.
  • “What the Eff???” I have got the worst potty mouth.  Ever.  I could make sailors blush.  And I’m not bragging, I actually feel pretty bad about it.  Do they make a patch for this???
  • “17 Again”  Except I’m 34.  Let us note that at this moment, it is 2:20 a.m. and I am still wide awake.  The monkey that I flung off my back all those years ago has come back.  Monkey, thy name be Coca-Cola Classic.  This morning I slept until 10:30.
  • “Good Mourning?”  It’s 2+ weeks later and I can’t stop thinking about Michael Jackson.  I didn’t even think about my grandma this much when she passed away last month.
  • “Barter and Taxes”  Why do you have to pay sales tax if you make a barter with someone?  Not that I’m going to, but Honey has been tutoring a little girl this summer, and in exchange her parents pay for supplies and the mom has a housecleaning business which now visits our humble abode twice a month.  Why should I let the state get in on the action?  I have used none of their resources, why do they get a cut?

Since I have to get up for church in about 5 1/2 hours, I guess the responsible thing to do would be to go to bed.  The lightbulb finally went off in my head and I understand why I’ve been slipping back into old habits.  The staying up all night because I can, is my way of asserting control over something (anything!!!) since I have none now that the way I spend 3/4 of the year has been interrupted by this summer vaycay.  I can’t promise I’ll stop doing it, but at least I understand why now.


Oh, and p.s…..

Join my friggin’ Pirate crew, will ya????  I need more members to get more booty!!!


2 thoughts on “I’ve Been On Vaycay (And other AMAZING lies I have to tell!)

  1. My parental control software has been blocking your blog! Maybe they heard about your potty mouth 😉

    I’ve been staying up late for the same reason. It’s just a time that I can be totally by myself. I can do whatever I want — which is almost always just watching TV, but I don’t have to share. Love it! Just wish the kids would sleep past 7:30.

Comments here ---> (please?)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s