The One Where I Didn’t Wait Too Long

…to ask for a refill of happy pills (thus, hopefully averting another ginormous non-human emotional disaster of the major-motion meltdown variety) and STILL ended up missing a few doses.

On test day.

Where I completed maybe 5 of 30 questions.

So hyperventilated in the brain that I couldn’t even b.s. thru the multiple choice section.

And then forgot to have breakfast.

You know that saying “don’t go to the store hungry”?  There’s truth in that.  Because even though you just went in for tortillas and lettuce for tonight’s dinner, you will come out with six boxes of cereal (two of which are Cocoa Krispies), four 10-oz. bags of mini marshmallows (to make treats with), four cans of frosting (they were on sale), three boxes of frozen ciabatta garlic rolls (for when you make poor man’s pizza sometime in the next three months), three packages of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (one mint, two cookies n’ cream) (because you are f*ing hungry and want to eat RIGHT FRIGGIN’ NOW and omg they’re on sale for $3.99/box and normally a lot more than that!!!), two jars of salsa (because you’re pretty sure you have some at home, but what if???), six containers of Greek Gods yogurt (because it is sinfully yummy), and two individual servings of gelato (chocolate and vanilla).

Damn, I forgot the margarine.  There will be no Cocoa Krispie treats today.

Yes, I know you can use butter but this is one occasion where I don’t want to!

Oh yeah, and some store-brand Lactaid milk for S, who is apparently lactose intolerant.

And the grocery store’s fun magazine they give you for free every other month.

I swear that’s it!  Except for the tortillas and lettuce.  I got those, too.

I’m thirsty but if I drink anything I will puke it right back up because I am still full from all the other water I drank today.  Anybody got any home health connections that can come and give me an IV or something???

Did you know if you take a B-Complex vitamin that the excess will pee out in the most unflattering color of yellow no matter how many gallons of water you drink?

Sometimes I wish we had an amnesty day with the whole commandments thing.  My day sucked so bad today I just wanted to hurt myself as much as possible and go get skunk drunk.  Or “naked wasted” as they say in the OC.

Honey has restless legs syndrome.  I have restless arms.  Feels like ants are burrowing down in for the winter.  Not even a generous dose of nyquil with a benadryl chaser and a melatonin minty on my pillow can knock me out fast enough to make me unconscious of the burrowing!

Totally unhappy that Megan Joy was sent packing.  Anoop just does NOT do it for me, neither does Scott (who REALLY should have been in the bottom three because frankly, molesting people’s ears with that crap should be illegal.  I think it is illegal.  In some countries.  And states.).

12:28 a.m.

Better run before the diarrhea of the typing comes back.  They don’t make Immodium AT for that so you have to run when you can.

Bye now.



Goodnight, then.

12:29 a.m.

I’m holding out….

Ok, 12:30.

Good night.


2 thoughts on “The One Where I Didn’t Wait Too Long

  1. 12:34 a.m.

    I had to edit the post because I said “as” instead of “ask” on the refill thing.

    12:35 a.m.

    Gone, but not goodnight. I still have to make the bed and catch Will & Grace.

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