You find yourself itching all the time, and it’s not because of the detergents/soaps/whatever you’ve been using for years and you take an allergy pill?
You find a house that is perfectly fine and acceptable, but you still can’t bring yourself to make an offer on it?
You write a post about Spam and it does not elicit the quantity of hilarious comments you expected?
Your kids get plenty of rest and they still act like a bird pooed in their cereal because they’re so tired?
You water your tomatoes, at night, with plenty of mulch on top, and they seem to need to be watered again the next day because they look like lettuce-left-out-of-the-fridge limp?
Your BFF can’t resist laughing at you EVERY TIME you fall in slow-mo?
The train is never around except for when you’re late and can’t get past it?
You spend hundreds of dollars buying and returning bras from places that fit women of size because they still don’t fit, but on a curious day in the Intimates department at Target you manage to find one for $14.99? With a $1.00 off coupon?
You can drink a Coke with dinner and sleep like a baby, but drink one for breakfast and you’re up all night?
Store brand cheese slices taste better than Kraft cheese slices?
Ringtones cost $2.99 for the ones you hear, but $1.99 for the playback your friends hear instead of a phone ringing when they call?
I can contort my legs into a reversed 1st Position without injury, but take one wrong step while wearing flip-flops in the rain and I tear out a knee?