What Does It Mean When…

  • You find yourself itching all the time, and it’s not because of the detergents/soaps/whatever you’ve been using for years and you take an allergy pill?
  • You find a house that is perfectly fine and acceptable, but you still can’t bring yourself to make an offer on it?
  • You write a post about Spam and it does not elicit the quantity of hilarious comments you expected?
  • Your kids get plenty of rest and they still act like a bird pooed in their cereal because they’re so tired?
  • You water your tomatoes, at night, with plenty of mulch on top, and they seem to need to be watered again the next day because they look like lettuce-left-out-of-the-fridge limp?
  • Your BFF can’t resist laughing at you EVERY TIME you fall in slow-mo?
  • The train is never around except for when you’re late and can’t get past it?
  • You spend hundreds of dollars buying and returning bras from places that fit women of size because they still don’t fit, but on a curious day in the Intimates department at Target you manage to find one for $14.99?  With a $1.00 off coupon?
  • You can drink a Coke with dinner and sleep like a baby, but drink one for breakfast and you’re up all night?
  • Store brand cheese slices taste better than Kraft cheese slices?
  • Ringtones cost $2.99 for the ones you hear, but $1.99 for the playback your friends hear instead of a phone ringing when they call?
  • I can contort my legs into a reversed 1st Position without injury, but take one wrong step while wearing flip-flops in the rain and I tear out a knee?
  • Ice melts and freezes at the same temperature?
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4 thoughts on “What Does It Mean When…

  1. HA HA! SPAM!!!!

    There you go.

    I think it means you shouldn’t buy the house. You don’t want to live in “acceptable” for the next 30 years. You want to live in “I love it”. The real question is “Can you turn acceptable into love?”

    I can’t sleep either. And it’s my SPECIAL TALENT. Now I’m all depressed.

    And I just saw a news piece about how flip flops will kill us all. Bummer.

  2. Oh, and I became allergic to Secret deodorant one day for no reason whatsoever. I used it for years, and then Bam! Itch city. Scratching your armpits in public? NOT the best way to win friends and influence people.It might be worth switching just for a day or two to see if it gets better.

  3. Funny….I was going to ask what was the difference between a “ringback” and a “ringtone”….And when you BFF last at you when you fall, it is a sign that it was funny….From what I hear about your BFF, she is a fabulous person even if she laughs at you when you trip over a toy that is about 10 feet big and a blind person wuold have seen it. At the end of the day, you BFF will always help you get back up, even if she is trying to run to bathroom to avoid peeing in her pants!

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