Betrayal, With A Side Dish Of Sarcasm

I have been betrayed in the absolutely worst way possible. 

Caffiene is no longer my friend. 

I cannot even have half of a small diet coke for breakfast without staying up all night!!!  I know some well-meaning healthy person out there is going to tell me how bad it is for me anyway, yadda yadda yadda, and I really don’t care.  If I can’t drink (alcohol), eat, beat the crap out of, smack talk, gossip, smoke, or shop my way out of whatever neuroses (that’s the plural, right?) I’m experiencing at the moment and now my relatively safe cola beverages are gone, what good is living?  All of the other vices are immoral, wrong, or just downright disgusting and Coke Zero was a legal, cheap, and refreshing alternative and now I don’t even have that!

Somebody pass me their American Express Black.  Please!


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