You’re A Big Boy Now

(50 million house points if you know who sings that, NO CHEATING!!!)

(Extra 50 if you know which movie house points is from, and I’ll just start off by saying it’s NOT Harry Potter!)

Cheese, cheese, bumblebees!

Here is my Baby D, all growed up and saving Kindergarten!  He told me to have a great day and he’d see me after lunch before we even left the house… and before I finished parking the car… and when I came to Honey’s classroom to help set up the name tags and “welcome back to school” gifties on the desks.

He wanted to make sure I got a good shot of his new backpack:

Let us not forget the love of all things Pirates!

(Note the skulls & crossbones on the straps!)

I was hoping to keep him from growing up a little longer.  If my kids get old, then I’ll get old.  Before you know it, I’ll be posting a picture of him looking like this…

I Hope They Call Me On A Mission

…only he’ll have on a suit and a different kind of name tag.

Sunshine On My Shoulders

Last night, Honey set up some camp chairs outside so we could watch the sun set together.  It was so quiet, so peaceful… even D knocking on his bedroom window begging for a drink couldn’t ruin the evening.  Tonight was much the same, except we were at the Raingutter Regatta for Cub Scouts.  Once again, I forgot the camera.  I swear, I need to have one implanted!  It was so nice, though.  The boys all played well, and we had rootbeer floats for refreshments.

It’s been just the right amount of hot, and you can tell that fall is coming because it is getting dark sooner than it has been.  We’ve had a nice delta breeze to keep the heat stroke at bay, and the kids must sense change because not only are they going to bed “on time”, they’re not putting up a fight when we get them up in the morning.

Speaking of fall… I finally made the jump off the fence and bought a ticket to Time Out for Women in Sacramento.  It’s September 6th, which is the weekend we’d normally be trekking up to Apple Hill.  But Kenneth Cope is performing, and he’s so good…. Honey and I saw him in concert back before we had any crumb snatchers kiddos to worry about.  Since this interrupts our tradition of going to Apple Hill on the first weekend of September, we decided to further break tradition by inviting Shana the Beautiful’s family to go with us.

So what does any of that have to do with my title today?  It just sums up how complete I feel when I’m not engulfed in my illness.  I have the big picture hanging front and center and I am filled to the brim with serenity when I see me how my Father in Heaven sees me.

Good night, friends

Ear Worm

What’s that called when you can’t get a song out of your head, an ear worm?  Here I am, three weeks later, and “Why, why, did I ever let you go-o?” is still running through my brain.  “Mamma Mia!  Here I go again!  My, my, how can I resist ya?”

At least it’s not the song that never ends.  It just goes on and on, my friend.  Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was and they’re forever singing it forever just because…

Ow! (And Other Happenings This Week)

My ear hurts.  You know that thing doctors tell you when you have a baby about not putting anything larger than your elbow in your ear?  I didn’t listen.  My ear was scratchy so I scratched it with my pinkie, but now it feels all swollen and hurting!  Rude, huh?

It’s Wednesday.  Never in history has anybody looked forward to this particular Hump Day than have the mothers of the M*****a Unified School District!  It’s like Mother’s Day all over again.  Even the checkers at the grocery store were rooting for me today.  Now that’s a community that cares!

I’m feeling much better than I was over the weekend.  Thank you to everyone who had words of comfort and support for me during the episode.  I’ve been worried that I might have to change the dose (not bad at all) of my medication, or find a new one altogether (sheer hell).  I think that the kids going back to school will make a huge difference and my worries will come to nothing.

Ooooh… I started reading my textbook for the history class I’m taking last night.  Can we just say “easier than high school”???  I mean, seriously… my 9 year old could read this book with no problems.  Not that I’m complaining, noooo…. I’m just really really glad I’ll be able to do well in it.  I’m afraid to get low grades.  Even an A- might bother me.  I mean, I do currently have a 4.0 GPA, why ruin it?

Honey started back at work today.  We had to get up and ready like we normally would during the school year.  Amazingly enough, we all made it on time.  Heck, I even got up before he did!  Someone should make note of this day as it will likely never happen again.

Last, but not least, my tomatoes have basically bit the dust.  It doesn’t matter what I do to them, they just are withering and browning away.  Both of the ginormous heirloom tomato plants put forth 2 fruits each, the Sweet 100’s has given me a whopping TWO little things, and the San Manzita (or something like that) ones never even got blossoms.  Gardening without a home is so depressing!

How’d I Get So Lucky?

I had another meltdown this morning.  I just could not make myself get ready for church, even though I watched the minutes slip away with my own eyes.  I wanted to go to church, I knew I couldn’t go to church un-showered and in PJs, but I couldn’t do it.  Which lead to all sorts of dark thinking and uncontrollable crying.  Until I remembered I had an appointment with the Bishop after church today, and then the waterworks instantly stopped.  But then I got in the shower and started thinking how he’s not a doctor and how could he ever understand what I’m feeling/going through and how I wish these voices in my head would just SHUT THE F*** UP!!! because even though the one sane cell in my brain knows I’m overwhelmed and not crazy, it sure doesn’t feel that way.

We decided I need to see my doctor.  Soon.

For a long time I’ve wondered about my salvation.  Will I make it?  Have I done enough?  I know I can always do more, how do I know I did enough ???  My desires are so much greater than my deeds, my knowledge exceeds my actions, I think I’m pretty screwed but for one thing:  As crappy as I feel and as far as I think I am from hitting a home run in the game of life, I’m going to choose to believe Christ when he says his grace is enough for me.

It’s scary.  REALLY scary.  But I have no other choice.  If I don’t believe this, then for sure all is lost.  But I belive.  And so I have hope.

Days like today make me curse whatever luck of the draw gave me mental illness as my trial, but also gratitude for the same sentence.  Without this struggle, would I have come to the Lord as I have?  Or would He be on the back burner of my life?  I’ve always struggled with depression, but as it’s progressed into bigger and worse things for me as I age, it’s put my spiritual growth on fast-forward.  And believe it or not, I’m grateful for that.

Because Lord Knows I Have Nothing Better To Do

Again, How Did They Know???

Your Scent is Lemon

Vivacious, tangy, and lively You are one gigantic ball of energy!

What’s Your Girl Smell?