Was on December 24th.

Why did nobody tell me about this?!?!?!

I mean, I know it’s been awhile and all since I posted and frankly, my posts leave something to be desired lately, but this is serious business!

National Chocolate Day and nobody told me.   No wonder I’ve been so depressed!

…the awesomeness I feel when I see things like this.

It warms my heart, body, and soul and everything tingles like a fresh application of Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm.

Consider this my Christmas gift to you, my friends!

…for the souls of my children.  Or mine.  Whichever comes first.

They broke a bed today.  Could I get any more ghetto than having two kids sleeping on the floor?

Don’t answer that.

I had to make a midnight 8:30 p.m. run to Target to grab some Underjams for little D and some “nose medicine” to dry up that dastardly runny nose.  As I was leaving the store I decided to run over and take a swig from the fountain because all of a sudden I have the same thirst for water during the winter that I normally don’t have unless it’s 113′ in the shade, and as I approach the fountain area I see this perched on the shelf behind the gift registry computers in the Customer Service area:

Now, for those of you who are having trouble realizing just how dang big this bucket o’ wipeys is, I also called a poor and unsuspecting cashier masquerading as a “Dollar Section” restocker over to help me illustrate whilst I illuminate:

That’s right, IT’S BIGGER THAN HER HEAD!!!

Just thought you’d like to know.

“I have met the enemy, and it is me” – Okay, I know that’s not exactly how that quote goes, but it works for my purposes.

Last week when I was doing my grocery shopping, I had an encounter that gives me mixed feelings.  Let me illuminate the situation for you with a little background story:

Once upon a time I was a teenager and I loved to have parties.  Specifically, Christmas parties.  One year it was party time and we had run out to Shopko to get something (Shopko being the step up from Voldemart and just under Target) with just an hour to party time.  As we were in the checkout line, the person in front of us squabbled for 20 minutes, I kid you not!, about a whopping twenty-five cents.  Yes, that’s 25 pennies, or two dimes and a nickle, or five nickles.  I vowed to never be that person.  Seriously, it was a QUARTER!!! Ok, back to me and my grocery shopping.

So I go to Save-Mart because hey, I have kids, and they like cereal.  A LOT.  And Save-Mart has in their ad “selected Kellogg’s cereals $1.50/box when you buy 4″  I like forking over $6.00 for four boxes of cereal, but I like it even better when that cereal has a coupon for $1.00 off fresh fruit.  Better yet, all four boxes have the coupon for $1.00 off fresh fruit!  Sweet, because I’m on a budget, right?  So I get back over to the produce section and carefully measure out $4.00 worth of fresh fruit and because the coupon does not have any of that sneaky small print that says “One coupon per purchase”, “Not cumulative”, or “Must be different fruit for each coupon used”  I have picked out one coconut, a few oranges, and some bananas.  Are you with me here?  NO SMALL PRINT ON THE COUPON.  $1.00 off fresh fruit for each coupon and each box of said cereal at the same time.  Now picture me at the register having a heated (but not yet lethal) discussion about how no, I do not need four different kinds of fruit, it.  just.  says:  $1.00 FRESH FRUIT WITH PURCHASE OF THIS CEREAL.

And so that is what I got.

It’s amazing how freeing life is when you stop giving a care about what people (read: total strangers) think about you…

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“He knows when you are sleeping, he know’s when you’re awake.  He knows if you’ve been bad or good…”

Really?  Because I’m thinking if Santa really knew all of that he’d either be blind or in witness protection.

Anybody?

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“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”

Um, not true.  It just makes a lot of people that can only see out of one eye.

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There were more, but much has happened since this post began and so I end to write another day!

]]> http://sallygirl.wordpress.com/2009/11/28/deep-thoughts-sallygirl-style/feed/ 3 sallygirl http://sallygirl.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/goosebumps-and-other-ridiculous-happenings/ http://sallygirl.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/goosebumps-and-other-ridiculous-happenings/#comments Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:43:20 +0000 sallygirl http://sallygirl.wordpress.com/?p=797 ]]>

I have reached the tipping point, and not too soon.  My fingers are turning blue, so on went the heat!  Unfortunately for my family, I reached this decision just as they were all leaving for school.  :-O

I often encourage T (our Chinese exchange student) to come with me when I go shopping somewhere new.  It used to be because I thought he would enjoy seeing the different kinds of American markets and shops, but now it’s because he tells me the most fabulous (and by fabulous I mean out-of-control disgusting!) things about where he lives.

We’ve talked about how in China, everything is fresh.  You go to the market and the fish is still alive, or was until as recently as an hour ago.  All the vegetables are just picked, and they go to market every day instead of stocking up like we do.  I bought some canned soups to use in some recipes I make, mostly for gravy, and he said that they even make all their sauces from scratch!

So last night, I took him to the hope and glory that is Trader Joe’s.  I lured him there by telling him they sell healthy foods.  That’s only partially lying.  They do sell healthy foods.  And they also sell junk food make of healthy ingredients.  And lots and lots of fat.  He saw a whole chicken in a bag and wanted to know where the head was.  Let me tell you, they eat some funky things over there!

On our way back home, he asked me if I ever had to kill any of the animals that we eat.  I was like, Um NO.  He said he had and asked me if I knew how they kill chicken.  I was like, “Sure, you whack it’s head off.  Voila!”

Apparently not.

I won’t go into gory details, but let me just say that the over-worked and under-paid factory workers aren’t the only ones receiving inhumane treatment.

My brother IM’ed me yesterday morning-ish and asked if he could come spend the night last night.  I was so excited!!  Until I found out he wouldn’t be here until 1:00 a.m. and had to leave at 4:00 a.m.  Making a quick! round-trip delivery from Utah to San Leandro for work and needed a place for him and his friend to crash.  I wish SO much that they could have stayed, even if it was just until after breakfast; but I was elated that he came at all and as corny as it sounds, I felt honored that I could do that for him.  Even when I woke up and found that damn Dr. Pepper can still in my fridge.

Well, tempus fugit and I think that shower’s warmed up now.  Toodles!

I have a pretty amazing group of people in my life.  There are just certain people (mostly women, sorry guys!) who consistently do and say things to help me feel good about myself.  If you are reading my blog, you are likely one of those people so give yourself a nice smack on the butt for me.    If you don’t think you are included in that bunch, you have two choices:  1 – Pretend you are and give yourself the smack or 2- You ARE and give yourself the smack.

No one can ever replace Ana Banana, but I’ve got Shana the Beautiful and my cripple rock star Mom who are 99.99999999% as awesome and many, many other dear friends (who, sucky for me, do not live anywhere remotely close!) that each have a spark of the Spirit of Ana in them and will help me feel like she’s still here.  It would help more if one or more of you picked up and moved within 80 miles of here, but I’ll take what I can get.

Love to rowdy girls everywhere!!!

• Best Friend; because try as I might, I have an anxiety attack every time I see another status update about the impending doom move.  Pathetic?  C’est moi!
• Mom; because when I did the grocery shopping today I picked candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters instead of the food on my list we need for the rest of this week.
• Student; because I forgot my sweater and scarf this morning and it was soooo bloody cold that I couldn’t manage to wait 50 minutes outside for my next class of the day and went home early.
• Visiting Teacher; because even though I know I would not have made it the past few years without my second mom (a.k.a. Visiting Teacher!) – I still never manage to get mine done.
• Wife; because I always forget to thaw out whatever it is that I need to make a nice dinner for my husband who works so hard and we end up having a lot of “find it and eat it” dinners.

Good thing I see my therapist tomorrow.  She’ll tell me of course I feel like crap, I haven’t been giving myself good self care.  Yeah… that will make me feel better.

You know about my food/mess/germ issues, right?  I don’t like to be (or get!) messy or dirty, and I don’t touch raw meat because, EWW!

This afternoon, we carved pumpkins.

I cleaned off all the seeds so I could roast them with cinnamon and sugar.

I AM STILL ALIVE!!!

Start checking to see if the moon has turned to blood and the four horsemen come riding to town, I hear that happens next.

I hate to cry.

The snot comes forward, the face gets full, suffocation begins and splotchy-ness ensues.  Noses are blown, boxes of tissue are emptied, and pillows are soaked through with the tears of hurt/anger/frustration/loneliness… the worst one is the loneliness.

I hope you’re sitting down, because I am about to tell you something that will shock you to the core:

I don’t have very many friends.

Are you still there?  Everything ok?  Good, let’s get back to me.  I have a personality so fabulous that Shana the Beautiful calls it “the full monty” when it reaches its peak of awesomeness.

Ana Banana is moving away, and now I can’t stop crying.