Yes Deposit, No Return

In case anybody was wondering, we will in fact NOT be getting our deposit back, if and when we ever move from this rathole.  I called for some long overdue maintenance requests just now, and boy…. this is one office chick I am not a fan of. 

We, apparently, have made the grave mistake of not only having small children, but of letting them live life as children.  So when they busted the screen out of their bedroom window for the Nth time last fall, I said to myself, “Oh don’t worry about that now since it’s going to be winter and they don’t need a screen.  You can just have good ol’ Gg pop in a new one next spring”.  They’ve done it before, it’s never been a problem, and now they want FIFTY SMACKERS to replace it!  For a freaking window screen???

Yeah, I seriously doubt we’ll be getting our deposit back.  And just in case they think they can charge us for having to replace this ratty carpet that should’ve been replaced before we moved in, I’ve got some liar friends (oops, I meant lawyer!) who can tell them otherwise.

Defeated

Today I am angry with myself.  And the world.  I’m angry because I want to clean my home today and I can’t because:

1. We vacuumed up a billion baby spiders from the egg sac that opened up in the house.  I told Honey to throw the contents over the fence, including the filter, and I would just get a new one.  I figure, I’ll just go to the store where I got the vacuum, right?  WRONG.  No filters.  They suggested OSH, since it’s a Kenmore vac and OSH has Sears products.  NOPE.  So I head over to the “appliances only” Sears in town.  They have the vacuum, BUT NO FILTERS.  Great.  I have to drive to Tracy if I freaking want to vacuum.  I knew I should’ve sprung for the Dyson!
2. My friend S, who is my Catholic twin, gave me her floormate because she is as dysfunctional as I am and couldn’t be bothered with it.  I wanted it because I want to contribute to cleaning my kitchen floors and no way Jose am I doing it like Honey does (on hands and knees!).  Hey, guess what?  NOBODY HAS FILTERS FOR THOSE DAMN THINGS EITHER.
3. I have a migrane and a displaced rib.  So every time I take a deep breath, I get stabbed in the back.
4. I can’t do laundry as Honey conveniently took the keys he was supposed to leave with me that open the laundry and mail rooms.  Did I also mention that my netflix arrived and it’s trapped in the mailbox???
5. I got a new liner and rings for the shower curtain, but since the laundry room is locked up…. can’t wash the dang curtain!

The good news is, I have not had a meltdown since Honey left on Saturday.   Just 24 hours to go… 24 hours… 

p.s.  I bought Quicken to help me be more organized with the checkbook.  It doesn’t come with instructions.  Or a crystal ball.  Good thing it’s got a 100% money back guarantee.

What Fresh Hell Is This???

Spring Break.  The two most dreaded words in the history of motherhood.  Especially when your car is in the shop.  And it’s too cold to go out until after 10:00 a.m.  Maybe I should take a page from the Heaven’s Gate people and brainwash my kids weeks before it starts?  Convince them that Spring Break is really Spring Clean?  That they should spend every waking moment of their days mopping and dusting?  What do you think? 

I Am NOT Going To Get Up Today!

And I didn’t, either!  I don’t know what came over me today, but I’m pretty sure I was asleep for more of it than I should have been.  This better not screw me up tonight….

Bring Out Yer Dead!

Remember that part in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they’re piling dead bodies from the black plague into wheelbarrows and carting them away, while crying out “Bring out yer dead!”?  And the one guy says “I’m not dead yet!”?

 I feel like that.  Except worse.  Stupid cooties.  Why can’t I be sick during the sick season?  Why do I have to get colds during spring and summer when it’s nice outside?  Why can’t I quench my thirst even though I’ve been drinking so much water it feels like I may as well have IV fluids hooked up to me???

 Oy.  I’d better feel better after today.  I’m already over my allotted 2 sick days.  Nobody wants it to get uglier than it already is, TRUST ME.

~*~*~*~*~*~

In other news… see that photo at the top?  The one of the orange and yellow flowers?  I took that!!  That’s my picture!  Well, part of my picture anyway.  It was so big I had to crop it.  Don’t I rock?  Of course I do!  Why would you even let yourself ask you that question??

I need to go suck up some more fluids now.  I don’t think I’m quite ready to float away with Noah yet.

Pause

I’ve been sitting on that letter I wrote for A for days now.  I have this picture in my head of how I want it to go:

It’s her birthday on the 26th.  I thought I’d time the sending of the letter and a small, heartfelt gift to arrive in the general direction of that day.  She opens it and tears up about it.  We call eachother and apologize for not being better friends.  Then we make plans to call or write eachother fairly regularly and have an annual getaway so this doesn’t happen again.

I’m not sure that’s what really happens, I guess that’s why the letter is still here.  I’m not sure that the time apart has changed anything, and I don’t want to reconnect with her unless I’m fairly sure it did.  There is too much going on in my messed up little head to bring down that kind of hurt on myself again.  The hurt from being left behind.

Growing Up

So… remember the original A that I wrote about last year?  My sister saw her at Blasphemy Mart a few days ago.  She thinks that I hate her.

What?!?!  I specifically made sure to say goodbye in a way that would not be interpreted that way.  I feel badly that she thinks I hate her.

Which opened up a new can of worms for me.  I still think of her daily.  I miss her.  I want us to be friends again, I just don’t want her to treat me like crap.

I thought about this a lot last night.  I thought to myself, “You know, if it were anybody else this wouldn’t be an issue.  If it were somebody from the MOMS Club, or even one of your old friends from high school you could care less.  So why does this have to be such a big deal?”  And then I answered myself, “Because we were more than friends.  We were sisters.  And sisters who have literally known each other since their first days on Earth would tell each other that they were adopting new babies long before everyone else in their address book found out.  Sisters know each other’s birthdays.  Sisters don’t flake on you every time you make plans.”

So what do I do?  I feel like I keep making excuses to myself to contact her.  I wrote her another letter last night (on paper, no worries!) and felt like I should send it, but now that I’ve slept on it I don’t know.

Any thoughts?