Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are!

I can’t find the toilet scrubby things.  And I know I just bought a new package of them three weeks ago, which means that only 3 of the 8 have been used.  Will you please tell me if you find them, because our bathroom’s getting kind of gross, even with the clorox tablet in the tank!

Defeated

Today I am angry with myself.  And the world.  I’m angry because I want to clean my home today and I can’t because:

1. We vacuumed up a billion baby spiders from the egg sac that opened up in the house.  I told Honey to throw the contents over the fence, including the filter, and I would just get a new one.  I figure, I’ll just go to the store where I got the vacuum, right?  WRONG.  No filters.  They suggested OSH, since it’s a Kenmore vac and OSH has Sears products.  NOPE.  So I head over to the “appliances only” Sears in town.  They have the vacuum, BUT NO FILTERS.  Great.  I have to drive to Tracy if I freaking want to vacuum.  I knew I should’ve sprung for the Dyson!
2. My friend S, who is my Catholic twin, gave me her floormate because she is as dysfunctional as I am and couldn’t be bothered with it.  I wanted it because I want to contribute to cleaning my kitchen floors and no way Jose am I doing it like Honey does (on hands and knees!).  Hey, guess what?  NOBODY HAS FILTERS FOR THOSE DAMN THINGS EITHER.
3. I have a migrane and a displaced rib.  So every time I take a deep breath, I get stabbed in the back.
4. I can’t do laundry as Honey conveniently took the keys he was supposed to leave with me that open the laundry and mail rooms.  Did I also mention that my netflix arrived and it’s trapped in the mailbox???
5. I got a new liner and rings for the shower curtain, but since the laundry room is locked up…. can’t wash the dang curtain!

The good news is, I have not had a meltdown since Honey left on Saturday.   Just 24 hours to go… 24 hours… 

p.s.  I bought Quicken to help me be more organized with the checkbook.  It doesn’t come with instructions.  Or a crystal ball.  Good thing it’s got a 100% money back guarantee.

What Was That, Mr. Gopher?

Somebody stop me if I’m wrong, but didn’t that little rodent not see his shadow this year?  Meaning, spring comes early?  Meaning, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL FREEZING???

This is just wrong.  We moved to California so this would never happen.  At least, not for more than a few days a year.

~*~*~*~*~

In other news…

I hate those writers at Grey’s Anatomy.  HATE THEM.  No sooner have I gotten over my mental love affair with Denny Duquette, and they bring him back!  I realize it’s not permanent.  I get that.  But then, that moment with Izzie?  PURE TORTURE!!!!

I’m going to start sending them my therapy bills.

Junk Food Meltdown

Something is not right with me.  For the first time in months, I’m craving junk things.  I ate 3.6 fl. oz. of Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream today.  And hawaiian sweet onion chips.  And processed cheese slices on my sandwich.  I highly suspect I may be PMSing.  I have no desire to eat all the good stuff and drink the 40 million gallons of water a day that I was drinking just a week ago.  I don’t care that I have 3 dozen eggs in my fridge, waiting for me to hard cook them so I can have the whites with my toast in the morning.  The english cucumbers are just sitting there in their wrappers, not getting peeled or sliced up for delicious, gas-free consumption.

I BOUGHT FROZEN PIZZA!

Stupid rain.  Stupid, stupid rain.  It’s all because I wanted to start walking to the school to pick the boys up in the afternoon.  It just snowballed from there.  I think I’ll just get a tanning lamp and mount it on my head so I have sunlight with me wherever I go.

Sounds good?