Billy Joe McGuffrey

I love this song.  All you nerdy Veggie Tales parents know what I’m talkin’ about!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey
was a really clumsy kid.
On the first day of first grade
I’ll tell you what he did.
He tripped over a pencil box,
flew up in the air,
landed on a kangaroo
who pulled out all his hair!
He needed first aid in the first grade,
first aid in the first grade,
first aid in the first grade.
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

All the way up to the twelfth grade, with as many claps as the grade you are in after “first aid” and “in the Nth grade”. 

Stealing from MySpace

Okay this is called FIRST REACTION… type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 40 words. Don’t think and don’t go back and change. Doesn’t matter how random just type it! Repost it for all of your friends.
—–

1. Beer:  Pee

2. Anorexic:  I take the fifth. 

3. Relationship:  Yes

4. West Virginia:   Mountain Mama

5. Power Rangers:  Trash

6. Weed:  Love to!

7. Air Freshener:  Addicted to Method “Fresh Grass” 

8. Smoking:  Sick.

9. The President:  Is done. 

10. Cars:  Loved it!

12. Gas Prices:  What a biyotch! 

13. Halloween:  Hmm… love it…

14. Nipple Rings:  Last Comic Standing

15. Religion:  Mormon

16. MySpace:  Giving it up for Facebook. 

17. Worst fear:  Widowed.

18. Marriage:  Fun.

19. Paris Hilton:  Got my beach house. 

20. Brunettes:  Bore.

21. Redheads:  Evil.

22: Politics:  Should be outlawed. 

23: Pass the time:  Watch it go by.

24: Perfume/Colgone:  Looking for my signature fragrance.

25: Cell Phone:  THANK GOD!!!

26. Tongue Rings:  Ouch. 

27. GoofyAuctions.com???:  Gotta check it if it’s real?

28: Vanilla Ice cream:  Good base.

29: Best Friends:  Never have enough.

30: High school: You bet!

31. Pajamas:  Old holey t-shirt.

32. Boys:  Suck.

33. Wet Socks:  NasT.

34. Alcohol:  Sometimes I think about the drink. 

35. Saying I love you:  Never say it enough but you can say it too much.

36. Emo:  Waste of space.

37. Money:  is fantastic!

38. Headache:  is why they make vicodin. 

39. Love:  Will keep us together.

40. The time?:  1:01 a.m. (Don’t tell!)

Ten On Tuesday - 10 Favorite Movies to Quote

1. Nacho Libre - “Chancho!  I need some sweaaaats…”, “I hate orphans!  I hate all the orphans in the world!”, “I am a-singing at de parteeee…”
2. Napoleon Dynamite - “Can you just bring me my chapstick?  My lips hurt real bad!”,  “Napoleon, don’t be jealous just because I sit here and talk to gorgeous babes all day online.”, “I see you’re drinking 1% milk.  Is that because you think you’re fat?  Because you’re not.  You could be drinking whole if you really wanted to.”
3. Pirates of the Caribbean - Curse of the Black Pearl - “Savvy?”,  “You’ve seen a ship with black sails that’s crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?” “No.” “No.” “But I have seen a ship with black sails.” “Oh, and no ship that’s not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn’t possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you’re saying?”
4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - “Bring us a shrubbery!”, “I’m not dead yet!”, “Blue.  No, green. AAAH!”
5. Jingle All the Way - “Put dat cookie down, NOW!!”, “Ta-ta, Turboman!”
6. The Italian Job - “I said I had a bad experience!… Man, and they say I’m deaf!”, “You’ll never defeat the real Napster!”
7. Shirley Valentine - “Well tickle my t*ts till Friday!”
8. Independence Day - “Welcome to Earth!”
9. Cast Away - “Wilson!!!”
10. Ferris Beuller’s Day Off - “Beuller?  Beuller?”

Ten On Tuesday - Ten AWESOME Things About Me!

1. Well, there’s just me for starters.
2. I sound smart because I can b.s. well.
3. I am smart because I know a little bit about just about everything.
4. My motto is:  “Put on your pants, it’s time to dance!” because life should be happy, not sad.
5. My philosophy is:  “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely and in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, lemonade in the other, totally worn out and screaming:  “WOO HOO!  What a ride!!!” “
6. I have a FANTASTIC life soundtrack, which I will happily email to you upon request.
7. If you placed bets on who would win the games at a baby or wedding shower and you placed them on me, you’d win big time.
8. I’m a great listener.
9. I know where the beach is.
10. I’m getting the new Harry Potter book before you are.

Don’t Tell The Bishop! (Ten On Tuesday)

You will never guess the conversations we had at Ladies Night Out last Saturday!  And I’m not going to tell you, either, because then you’ll tell the Bishop and he’ll never let us have Ladies Night Out again.

Here are 10 things we may or may not have talked about during our evening together:

1. Flatulence, a.k.a “Barking Spiders”
2. “Nickles” (a.k.a. n*pples) - There’s a funny story in there, don’t worry.  My youngest pointed at my chest one morning and said, “Mom, what are those red things?” to which I nonchalantly replied, “Oh, those are my n*pples.”  “Oh, ok, your nickles!  Look, I have some too!”
3. People from our past who used the word “chicken” whenever the word “ass” was in a reading they were doing from the bible in Sunday School.
4. Sex cures migraines (or causes them, depending on whose doctor you ask).
5. Daddies who say “dammit” in front of the two year-old while playing video games and what could we teach the kid to say instead of that?

Ok, I guess it was more like five instead of ten, but I was laughing so hard all night that some of my memories must’ve fallen out!

How SallyGirl Got Her Groove Back

I went to bed early.  BWAHAHHAHAHAHA!  Somebody better make a record of it because you know it’s never going to happen again.

Have a great day!

I Think I Love You

You know who you are.  Down the street.  Once I make that left turn, it’s all over.  The tractor beam hooks on and you reel me in.  Your siren call is too great for me to overcome, I am blinded by the beautiful song that pushes me through your automatic doors and into retail bliss.