God Bless Capitalism

They have tri-tip roasts on sale at my grocery store this week.  The picture in the ad looks wonderful, but my roasts never turn out that way.  No, they fall apart instead of slicing up nicely.

I asked my butcher how exactly do I get mine to look the appropriate way, and he gave me some very easy instructions.  Now, I’m left with what to season it with.  I could use my Chicago Steak Seasoning, but somehow it just doesn’t seem right.  As I wander down the nonsensical aisles of Pak n’ Save (which is the red-headed stepchild to Safeway) trying to find Tahini that was cheaper and in a smaller quantity than the jar at Raley’s, I stumbled upon what can only be a heavenly-inspired solution to my roast.

CARNE ASADA IN A JAR!  Not dry, but a wet marinade!!!  Somebody out there loves me, and it’s the person that came up with this product.  Now I can die happy.

More Proof That God Exists

As one commenter on this blog said, “It’s like p*rn for my mouth…”

Some poor soul without a/c in a place that rains a lot but is currently (or was) experiencing record heat invented….

THE MACGYVER WAFFLE .

Sunshine In A Jar

I’m making strawberry jam today.  As soon as the dishwasher is done sterilizing my jars.  The perfect storm occured making it all possible!

• Perfectly red, perfectly fragrant and perfectly sweet strawberries from my newly discovered strawberry stand.
• Kitchen is spotless.
• The mood has stricken!

 I haven’t made jam for at least two years now.  I’ve bought the strawberries.  I’ve bought the jars and pectin.  But I just couldn’t do it.  Now I’m ready.  Now I’ve got the muse again.

It helps I have my own full-on freezer as well to store this jelled-gold in as well.  Oooh…. speaking of gold, I wish I had some edible gold powder to put in it to give it that lip-gloss look!

Game On!

Because I freaking rock, and because I already have my first tomato growing, I thought I’d treat you to some pictures of my “garden”.  It used to have more flowers, but they got ripped out to make way for the King.  King Tomato, baby!!!  Nothing tastes better than homegrown.

p.s.  If you click on the picture and then click on it again, you can see it how it’s meant to be seen.

Hear Ye! Hear ye!!

And the winner of the most disgusting product found at the grocery store EVER is….

Ten On Tuesday - Ten Foods That I Hate

1. Raw onions.  Eww.
2. Wet seafood.  So crab is good.  Very dry halibut or any other kind of white seafood is good.  Salmon, eww.  Oysters, clams, mussels, BAD.
3. Anything that smacks strongly of dill.
4. Anise/licorice flavor.  BLECH!!!
5. Runny/undercooked eggs.
6. Sushi.
7. Steak that moos.
8. Insects.  Even the chocolate-covered ones.
9. Ketchup that isn’t Heinz.
10. MIRACLE WHIP.  It’s sacreligious.  Blasphemy for the tastebuds.

Ketchup

We were having brats for dinner a couple of weeks ago and to my horror, there was no ketchup!  Which I personally would be ok with, but the kids… they would’ve gone to bed hungry.  So we borrowed the neighbors.

It was DEL MONTE.  Not Heinz 57, but DEL MONTE.  Banana will testify to my food snobbery, but it is particularly severe when it comes to my condiments. 

Being the great neighbors that we are, we didn’t return the ketchup but kept right on using it until it was half-empty from the level we had recieved it.  I figured we definitely needed to replace it.  Against my better judgement, I spent the 88 cents on the blasphemous ketchup.  It burned my skin to hold the bottle so I had to bag it right away.  I wanted to save my neighbor from ruining her palet with this… stuff, but we’re not that close.  She’s unaware of all my special little quirks.

Maybe next Christmas I’ll leave a bottle of the good stuff on her doorstep from Secret Santa.