Sweet, Sweet Service

Last month I got my jury duty summons in the mail.  It’s weird because they send them out like, WEEKS before you’re supposed to call.  I was wondering why until it just occured to me that they have to give people enough time to come up with a way to get out of it clear it with their work.

Anywho, I was supposed to serve the week of January 20th.  I called the previous Friday and it said to call back the next Tuesday because Monday was MLK day.  No prob, bob!  Except…

That was the Friday from Hell.  I’m actually surprised I remembered to call that day given how wretched that day was.  I didn’t even give the summons another thought until yesterday when an old school chum had on his facebook status he was glad his jury duty was over.

ZOINKS!!!

That’s right.  Two weeks later, the light in the attic goes on and says, “Hey dummy, they’re gonna cart you off to jail!!“

I called the courthouse immediately and the phone just rang and rang and rang and rang and rang… I even let it ring for 2 minutes in a row!  NADA.  I called this morning and they picked up on the first ring.

Good news, no jail time.  I have a “have to appear” date of next Wednesday.

In closing (see how I’m practicing for writing my essay for Eng 1A?), I would just like to say that I have been summoned for jury duty before.  I have always wanted to serve since lord knows I watch enough Law & Order!  Sadly, I have always had babies at home that needed me more than my country did.  I got called to serve once when Honey was on-track so I called and asked if I could just postpone it a few weeks when he would be off, but the lady was PMSing big time and wouldn’t hear of it.  She just lumped me in the group of derelicts of duty and said they’d ask next year.

The Best Freaking Soup, EVER!

So, um, I’ve been wanting to make soup.  Because I think soup is one of the things my kids hate most to eat for dinner.  And, you know, whatever I can do to irritate them…. 
Seriously though, I was really shocked at how good it was!  So, here you are.  The recipe for The Best Freaking Soup, EVER!:

• 1/2 lb. lean ground beef, browned into the teeny tiniest bits possible, seasoned with a boatload of sea salt and drained of all fat.
• 3-4 carrots no bigger than a quarter in diamater, peeled and sliced 1/8″- 1/4″ on the diagonal.
• 1/2 smallish to medium yellow onion, finely chopped (I use that wicked awesome onion chopper thingy).
• 1 – 15 oz. (or whatever) can petite diced tomatoes (and this is important because I HATE big chunks of tomato in my soups!)
• 2 medium-ish yellow squash that the body of which is not too much bigger than the neck of, but not yellow zucchini.  Slice it the same thickness (maybe a little thicker) than the carrots and then halve the smaller rounds and quarter the bigger ones.
• 3/4-ish cup of barley, rinsed
• 1/2-ish teaspoon of thyme
• 1 tablespoon Two Sisters Gourmet Outrageously Garlic Seasoning Blend
• a couple cranks of a black pepper grinder
• 2 – 15 oz. cans of Swanson Beef Broth, reduced sodium to make up for that boatload of salt you added to the ground beef.

In one pan, fry up that ground beef.  It’s vital that you have it in super teeny bits because anything bigger than a pea will make me gag.  In a 6 qt. dutch oven, pour 2 Tb. olive oil and heat until a flick of water sizzles.  Add the chopped onion and sautee until on the verge of translucent.  Add the carrots and sautee until the juices in the bottom of the pan start spreading orange everywhere (this is easy to notice if your dutch oven is enameled like mine is), approx. 3-5 minutes.  Then add the can of petite diced tomatoes, juices and all, and stir.  Cook until the tomatoes start to change color a little bit (2-3 minutes).  Add the thyme, crank that pepper mill and Outrageously Garlic.  Now add the beef broth, then the yellow squash, then the ground beef.  Add the barley, stir well, and cover.  Heat on low and cook for 30-45 minutes, until carrots and barley are well cooked.

Frickin’ Awesome!!!

Diarrhea Of The Fingers

Ooohh, doesn’t that sound pleasant?  You can blame it on the movie I just watched, “Eagle Eye”.  Non-stop crashing and banging and explosions and now my heart is racing so hard (still, even though it was over 31 minutes ago!) my chest hurts and my brain won’t shut up so I decided to come here and see what came out because who knows, maybe you might get a laugh from it?

Ok, first thing before I forget (because you know I will except I am writing about it right this minute so technically I haven’t), what the frick is up with the “skip” button not working on DVDs???  I mean, I thought one of the big bonuses of DVD vs. VHS was you could just skip right over all those pesky little FBI warnings, lame-o previews & commercials, and whatever other unpleasantness lies between you and your entertainment???  A)  NOBODY READS THE FBI WARNING which leads to B)  Since nobody reads it, it does NOT need to be up there for like, two minutes!

Next up is church.

I love church.  I really, really do.  Why is it that it is never convenient for me?  I mean, I know that being a nutjob means what’s convenient now could change in 30 seconds, but jeez… Have they no concern for my mental health??

Moving on…

If the county is trying to save money, how about re-closing the library on Sundays instead of taking two freaking weeks off over Christmas vacation and another two over New Year’s instead?

Why is it if I have a Coke with my breakfast, it does nothing to perk me up during the day but everything to keep me from going to sleep before 2:00 a.m.?

Since they let me take my Starbucks into the movie theater, does this mean I don’t have to hide my pizza any more?  What about some Subway??

Oops, sorry, I got sidetracked looking up free birthday tickets at Disneyland and short hair cuts.  I know you didn’t see it, but there was a 23.5 minute break in between Subway and Oops.

Well, thanks for the read ladies.  I think I’ve calmed down enough to go to bed now.  Pleasant dreams!!!

I Need A Handbasket…

…to complete the trip to Hell in.  I sent my kids to school without lunch today, knowing the lunch lady would just let them have hot lunch.  I just didn’t feel like making it.  I’d invite you along for the trip, but there’s a special circle of Hell reserved for mothers just like me and frankly, you lack the qualifications.

p.s.  Instead of the COLA raise we’re supposed to get next school year (July)?  We’re getting a 5% pay cut.  I know I should be grateful that Honey has a job that he’d have to chester or beat a kid to get fired from (which was hard to type without laughing because you all know how Peter Priesthood my hubby is), but I’m still bitter.

The bright side of it is, we’re back to qualifying for low-income stuff like reduced price lunches and electricity rates!

To All The Foods I’ve Loved Before

Being a food addict sucks.  It’s not like you can just not eat ever again.  Ok, well you can, but the results are not good.  I’m just sayin’.

I Thought That Meant…

Ok, there is something that has been eating away at me for several months now and I’ve finally reached the point where if I don’t get confirmation on it I may spontaneously combust!

So here it is:

You know that song “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz?  Cute little song, very laid-back and happy, makes me think of that Iz guy with the “Over the Rainbow” ukelele.  Well, there’s this line in it that goes:  And it’s our god forsaken right to be love, love, love, love, lo-ovvvvved…”

Now, correct me if I’m wrong (but I’m not), but doesn’t the term “god forsaken” usually mean “completely abandoned, even by the one who created all and loves all”????   Or “so freaking far away from civilization you could bury a body here and it would never be found”???

Just checkin’.

Is ______ Weird?

Is it weird to read the blogs of old friends and acquaintances (and periodically comment) even if they don’t read yours?

Is it weird to be “friends” with your parents on Facebook?

Is it weird when your friends are friends with your siblings?

Is it weird when you have more children’s literature in your personal library than “adult” books?

Is putting sliced sweet pickles on your peanut butter sandwich weird?

Is it weird to steal pens from people/businesses/church binders (because they are the perfect pen!) if you replace them with one of your own?

Is collecting something you don’t use weird?

Is planning your old age funeral and your young age funeral (just in case, you never know!) weird?

Is sniffing different brands of Windex when you shop weird if the scent is really important to you when cleaning?

Is it weird to pry off a corner of each chocolate from the unidentifiable ones in the See’s box so you can tell if you want to eat it or not?

Is having the phone number for Costco pizza programmed into your cell phone weird?

Are you worried yet, or are you alarmed at how similar we are?