When it’s 10:30 p.m. and you notice you’re not nearing sleepiness, TAKE SOMETHING!!! Otherwise, you will be up until 3:00 a.m. wondering why no one else is awake to play with you and by then it’s too late to do anything about it.
Have iTunes exorcised for evil spirits. I’m pretty sure it’s not good if your playlist keeps playing after you’ve closed the program.
The amount of chlorine in some people’s pools makes your skin super-soft instead of peeling it off.
It could be the amount of lotion you’ve been putting on lately instead of the chlorine, don’t tempt fate.
Ask Dr. L about switching from Valium to Xanax before school starts. Falling asleep during algebra class probably is not a good thing, neither is going into it unmedicated.
Yes, it does feel good when random guys at the grocery store hit on you. Even when they’re not all that attractive. Because, c’mon, who else would be hitting on you in your current state?
Sometimes it’s good to send Honey in to make the exchange. Even when he comes back with the thing unexchanged and you blow a gasket, it can turn out to be a good thing because now you have enough Disney Dollars to buy your kindergartener a ridiculously expensive backpack and lunchbox for school.
It’s ok to laugh about the dinosaurs freezing their asses off. It brings a smile to your face, and you look good when you smile. Especially with that one lipgloss. Fabulous.
Blaming Ana Banana for your addiction to Born and Clark’s shoes will only strengthen the bonds of sisterhood you share. Now you have another obsession to share!
Soon little D will be in school and you’ll miss him asking/telling you what time it is 40 million times a day.
